


Handsome and the Hairball

by verboseDescription



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: .... kinda, Fairy Tale Elements, Inspired by Beauty and the Beast, M/M, human!kravitz, taako is technically human too but he's also currently an inhuman monster so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8853373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verboseDescription/pseuds/verboseDescription
Summary: When Kravitz enters the Beast's Castle, it's safe to say he expected to see something a bit more frightening then Taako.Not that he's complaining. He might have expected fearsome beasts, but a weird hairy roommate works too.





	1. The Castle of The Beast Is A Bit Of A Let Down

“And when I was faced with the mighty beast, I didn’t run! No, instead I told him that if he let me go, I would send a son to serve him in my steed. But,” Here, his eyes glimmer, as if he’s about to give the punchline for a great joke. “I have no sons! Which means there is nothing I must do to please him.”

Kravitz’s father beams as the others in the room shower him with praise, but Kravitz doesn’t think he sees it the same way. Of course, that bit about having no sons bothered him, but that was a completely different story.

“It seems a bit dishonest, if I’m being truthful,” Kravitz admits.

“There’s nothing wrong with being clever, child,” Kravitz’s father says, sounding far too serious for a dinner party. “If you come across something that would help you live another day, I would hope that you take it. Chivalry means nothing when you’re dead.”

“How do you know? Have you asked?” Kravitz replies, defusing the tension with an easy smile.

Kravitz doesn’t think any less of his father for doing what he did. It’s really all a matter of principle, he thinks. Being clever enough to slide out of a tight spot is an impressive skill.

It’s important for a person to live life in a way they believe in. For Kravitz’s father, that meant solving problems through cunning. But Kravitz wasn’t like that, and he knew he needed to do what he thought was right.

Being true to yourself sometimes that meant doing things that others may see as foolish, but Kravitz was fully prepared for the consequences.

So yeah, basically his plan was to do the fucking stupidest thing he could think of and find that monster.

Which, honestly, wasn’t even that hard to do.

 

Kravitz takes a deep breath and knocks on the door in front of him. The door swings open almost immediately, revealing a very large, very fluffy beast who’s clearly nowhere near the door. The beast turns and gives Kravitz a toothy smile.

“How’s it hanging homedog?” he asks. His voice is—well, it’s not what Kravitz expected.

“Um,” Kravitz says. He clears his throat, and puts on the accent he uses when he’s trying to impress strangers.  “My father promised you a servant in exchange for his life? And I’m his son. I mean—well, I’m sure you know what I mean.”

The beast tilts his head in thought before speaking. “Was your dad that dude I saw when I was chillin’ in my garden? Cause I never said anything about killing him. He came up with that fine bargain all on his own. So, uh, think you made the trip for nothing.”

“Oh.” Kravitz tries not to show any visible signs of disappointment, slowly realizing that one of the main reasons he made the trip was, in fact, because of how cool he thought it’d be to follow through. It made him feel a bit childish.

“Well, hey, I’m not complaining!” the beast protests. “If you wanna stay, go ahead my man.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Kravitz says, lying through his teeth. Already he was thinking about how amazing it would be if he had the chance to stay in an actual monster’s den.

“No imposing here dude!” the beast grins again. “I’m Taako. You gonna tell me your name, or am I just going to call you ‘Handsome?’”

“If you’d like,” Kravitz says. “But Kravitz works too.”

 

Kravitz’s room is incredible. It’s a bit smaller than his one at home, truth be told, and not any fancier, but the addition of magic was definitely a much-welcomed improvement. Taako had told him to “settle in, or whatever, and change out of that shirt, homie, no one wants to sit in their own sweat,” so he had decided to check out his room before taking a short bath.

The wallpaper and sheets were both dark purples with black patterns on them. It reminds Kravitz of a funeral home and he immediately loves it. The closet was the only thing that stood out in his gothic room. It was a light brown with red knobs and inside held and array of suits, all fit for a ballroom party and very clearly tailored specifically for him.

According to Taako, the closets in his castle only showed clothing that you’d want to wear. Out of curiosity, Kravitz opens and closes it a few times. Each time, the closet shows him a different selection of clothing. All of them are suits.

There are not words to describe how pleased this makes him.

The bath, it turned out, is pretty cool too.

The room immediately lit up as soon as he steps inside, and there’s an array of products lining one of the walls. One of them reads “bubble bath.” Kravitz turns one of the knobs on the side of the tub and watched as water comes pouring out. After a moment, he pours the liquid inside the bottle in the water and watches in fascination as the tub begins to fill with bubbles.

This is, without a doubt, the best thing a magic castle could offer him.

 

After his bath, Kravitz goes down to the dining room to meet Taako. For some reason, the monster is making faces out of the window. It’s pretty clear that he’s trying to be frightening, but seeing his snout pressed against the glass as he scrambles around, growling, looks more comedic then scary.

“Hello,” Kravitz says, trying hard not to laugh. “What’s going on?”

Taako quickly whips his head around to Kravitz and makes a growl of annoyance.

I’m _trying_ to scare this kid,” he complains. “He used to scream _really_ loud whenever I just _looked_ at him. But now he’s just, like, chilling! In _my_ garden!”

Taako snorts. “I swear he’s doing this on purpose.”

Kravitz opens the window and looks down. A small boy dressed in a very fancy outfit looks up at him and waves.

“Hello Sir!” he says. “My name is Angus McDonald. I’m a little boy! Are you a friend of Mr. Taako?”

“I’m Kravitz,” Kravitz says. He’s not sure if he’s allowed to call himself Taako’s “friend” when all he’s done is invite himself over on a technicality of a compromise that was never agreed on. “What brings you to this place?”

“I come here every day!” Angus explains brightly. “I come here to study because it’s nice and quiet! Taako’s always trying to find new ways to scare me off, but I know it’s a goof!”

“Go back to your schoolwork, Pumpkin,” Taako says. “Don’t want your teachers to think your slacking, do you?”

“Actually, Sir, that’s why I came to the window!” Angus chirps. “I’m all done for the day!”

“Well, then _I guess_ you better come inside and get a snack,” Taako gives a heavy sigh, as if this small suggestion pained him more than words could express. Angus, apparently used to Taako’s dramatics, simply gives Taako a bright smile and runs towards a nearby door.

“Don’t trip!” Taako yells after him. Then, after a moments pause, “There’s a piece of pie for you in the kitchen!”

Kravitz can’t help but smile at Taako. So this was the beast that had his father so spooked. A man who let strangers into his home and fed small children looking for a quiet place to spend their afternoon. Kravitz had heard legends about Refuge and the monster it housed, and yet when it came down to it, the “beast” in question was no more than an overgrown cat.

Taako notices Kravitz staring at him and scowls.

“What?” He asks, defensive. “You want a little kid to walk home hungry?”

“No, of course not!” Kravitz replies. “I was just thinking—you’re nothing like what I expected.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. You’re—well, you’re incredible.”

“Well,” Taako says, fluffing his fur. “I have been known to inspire some awe every now and again.”

After pushing a few plates away, Taako hoists himself onto his table and looks at Kravitz. The table shakes a few times in protest, but Taako gives it a thump and the furniture calms down.

“So,” he says. “If you wanna stay and kick it at _casa de Taako_ , then we best be laying out them _rules.”_

Taako says “rules” as if it’s a curse, but continues speaking anyways.

“Truthfully man, this castle’s got room for days. If you wanna stay, it doesn’t do me no harm. But if you wanna be _super cool_ , then you could always be my message-man. See, I can’t really go into town looking like this. Which I get cause, hey, not everyone’s into teeth like these. But all that just means I can’t get any of that good good loot they got down there.”

“So you want me to shop for you,” Kravitz finishes. Taako nods emphatically.

“I got some other boys who come round here, but they got their own lives and shit, you know?” Taako continues. “I mean, Merle’s lazy as hell, for one thing. It’s a miracle he even comes here to fix up the garden. I’m not going to give him my _shopping list_ , you know?”

Kravitz doesn’t really understand the issue, but nods anyways.

“Cool!” Taako bares his teeth. Kravitz thinks this may be a grin, but he’s not sure. “So, now that all that lame official stuff’s outa the way, you got anything on your mind my man?”

Kravitz considers this for a moment. There’s plenty of questions he _could_ ask, but they’ve only just met. He doesn’t want to insult Taako accidentally.

“What other kind of magic does this castle have?” Kravitz asks. Taako laughs.

“Oh _man,”_ He says. “Where to even _start?”_

 

As it turns out, almost every room in the Castle is enchanted in some way. The garden has a tendency to come to life, there’s books in the library are being still being written when you open them up, some are _finished_ being written despite the publication date suggesting it shouldn’t be, sometimes the stairways lead you to places they shouldn’t and, of course the furniture moves on its own. And that’s not even everything!

After listing some examples, Taako offers to help Kravitz explore.

“Just in case you need my kickass monster paws to save you from any runaway chairs,” Taako says, flexing. Kravitz laughs and agrees.

“I’d love some company, but if anyone needs your protection, I’d imagine it’d be the child you keep letting in,” Kravitz says.

“Who, Ango?” Taako rolls his eyes. “As if. I can’t get _rid_ of that kid. Besides, he’s been here enough that my good buddy, the Castle in which I choose to abide, knows that if anything happens to Angus in _my_ house, it’s going up in flames.”

“Well,” Kravitz says, a bit startled by the ferocity of that statement. “That’s good to know.”

“So, Handsome, where’d you wanna go first?” Taako asks. “Library? You look like kind of a nerd.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Kravitz says. “But truthfully, I’ll go anywhere you wish to take me.”

“Wow, gay,” Taako laughs. “Okay, guess I gotta show you the drawing room then. C’mon.”

Taako rushes up a nearby staircase, stumbling on the first few and then trying to regain his composure and pretend he was waiting for Kravitz to catch up.

“How did you come across such a magical palace?” Kravitz asks as they walk. Taako laughs.

“I was cursed, homie!” he says. “Didn’t you know? This is the house of assholes who do dumb shit. And I did some dumb shit.”

“I did hear someone call this the Beasts’ Castle,” Kravitz admits, “But I assumed that was because of you.”

“Nah broseph, this castle’s the property of some shitty witch,” Taako says. “I asked my buddy Magnus about it and he told me that there’s this chick, Lady Istus or something, who goes around cursing stuck up princes and dropping them off here to rot or break the curse. Whatever comes first, you know? When I met her she was all like ‘I’m here to change your fate, Taako’ and then the next thing I know, I’m the beautiful furry bait you see before you. And I’m not even a prince!”

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz says. “Is the rest of the town not used to this by now? Do you really need to stay inside all day?”

“Everyone’s cool with having a monster in town,” Taako replies bitterly. “Just so long as they can’t _see_ him.”

Suddenly, before Kravitz can say anything, Taako claps him on the back and pulls him into a door.

“So this is it!” Taako says, a bit too loud. “The drawing room.”

Kravitz looks around. Inside the room floats numerous objects, all of them looking as if they’ve escaped from a painting. Considering the art supplies spread around, it’s possible they actually _could_ have. Several empty canvases line the walls as well as a few paintings of landscapes. A unicorn with two horns rushes towards Kravitz and Taako before jumping into a painting of a forest clearing.

“Pretty sick, huh?” Taako grins. Kravitz can only stare, eyes and mouth open.

“There is a lot of magic in this room.” Kravitz says, aware of how obvious this statement is. “This is an _absurd_ amount of magic in a room that should not have any.”

“You okay _compandre_?”

“This is undoubtedly the coolest shit I’ve seen all day,” Kravitz replies. “But there is _no reason_ for a witch to cast a spell complicated enough to allow for all this to work out as planned. She couldn’t have just put a spell on the brushes! There’s the canvas to consider, the paint, and naturally, making sure you always have enough of all of it.”

“Nah homie, it’s just some residual magic effect in action,” Taako explains. “The Castle’s been spelled so many times new spells just pop up like some kinda magic two-for-one deal. This room didn’t even exist when I got here.”

“Well that certainly makes things exciting,” Kravitz says, examining a painting on the wall. “Can we enter these as well?”

“Only if you can fit through the frame,” Taako replies. Kravitz slowly reaches into a painting of koi fish swimming in a pond. He makes a small noise once he feels the water, and the fish in the painting quickly swim over to his hand and begin to nibble at his fingers.

“There’s something here!” Kravitz exclaims, eyes sparkling with delight. Taako rolls his eyes, so Kravitz firmly grabs his arm and shoves his hand in the painting. The koi fish swim away immediately, frightened away by Taako’s large claws but Kravitz doesn’t let him move his hand. Eventually, the fish swim back, curious to see what new creature has invaded their pond. Slowly, one fish gives him an experimental nibble, and soon the others join in.

“Yeah,” Taako says, his expression looking softer then Kravitz thought his face would allow. “I feel it too.”

Kravitz doesn’t let go.


	2. Local Man Yells About Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be more focused on the town but hey, it's still something. The town will definitely get described more later. Probably not for a couple chapters, though.

He knows he’s a goner once Taako appears in his dream. It’s not as if Kravitz didn’t notice a crush forming, but the fact he was seeing the man’s face when he closed his eyes really drove home the point. Or, at least, the fact he was seeing the face Kravitz’s brain assumed Taako had as a human.

In his dream, Taako is happy. He moves with a kind of grace his beast body would never allow, and smiles with a grin that says he knows he’s the most impressive thing around.

He presses his lips on Kravitz’s and his eyes immediately shoot wide open.

He’s awake.

Fuck.

 

Instead of thinking about his weird, possibly (hopefully?) semi magically induced dream, Kravitz thinks about the undershirts in his closet. Kravitz knows they’re not typical undershirts because of how flat they make his chest when he wears them. He’s not sure if this is magic, or just a cool tailoring trick no one told him about till now. Either way, he approves.

Modern technology is like a miracle anyways.

It’s much more interesting than if he’s caught the fancy of a man who looks a bit like the pug-child of a bugbear and a werewolf. 

In any case, he’s starting to think it might be a mix of both, but mainly because he’s fairly certain everything in his closet is slightly enchanted. Kravitz makes a mental note ask Taako about it. Taako seemed to know a bit about magic, and a great deal about the Castle. Even if he didn’t know the exacts, Kravitz was sure the two of them could figure it out.

Or they could ask Angus. He is, according to Taako, the world’s greatest detective.

 

When Kravitz meets up with Taako for breakfast, there’s another man in the room. He’s dark and built like a lumberjack, but looks as though he’d prefer to use his strength to give hugs than anything else. Taako has a full plate of pancakes in front of him, but the man only has tea, though it seemed he was drinking three different mugs at once.

Because, naturally, a friend of Taako couldn’t do anything the normal way.

Taako notices him before his friend does and yells Kravitz’s name, gesturing for him to come sit by him. As soon as he complies, the man thrusts his hand onto Kravitz’s and shakes them.

“Hey there!” he grins. “I’m Magnus, Magnus Burnsides! You must be Kravitz. Nice to meet you!”

“Hello,” Kravitz replies. “It’s, um, nice to meet you. What brings you here?”

He says this with as much grace as he could muster for a morning conversation, but what he meant was “ _why the fuck is someone else here?”_

“Took you long enough,” Taako says. “I mean, man, how much can you sleep?”

“A reasonable amount necessary for survival,” Kravitz replies dryly. Taako snorts.

“Sleep is for the weak,” he declares, and stuffs an entire pancake down his mouth.

“I was just here to say hi to Taako, and we figured I might as well show you around town, since you’re living in it now,” Magnus explains. “After breakfast, of course.”

“That’s fine by me,” Kravitz says, then pauses. “Where is breakfast?”

“If you go into the kitchen cabinets, you’ll probably find something,” Taako says. “Might take a couple tries though, especially if you want some real complicated shit.”

“Do we not have any non-magical food?” Kravitz asks.

“There’s like, apple trees outside or some shit,” Taako replies. “So it’s not like there’s _nothing.”_

“There’s no food in this entire castle,” Kravitz says and heads into the kitchen. “What’s the point of magic if we still need to go grocery shopping?”

“Hey, don’t diss the Castle!” Taako calls after him. “There’s a lot of shit that goes into making food. And the cabinet’s gotta do all that, but outta nothing! That’s way more work then you’re doing my man!”

“Then why is it so easy to make clothes?” Kravitz shoots back. He closes and opens the cabinets several times until he finally finds a bowl of cereal that looks appealing.

“When was the last time _clothes_ had an _expiration date?”_ Taako asks as Kravitz heads back into the room. Magnus looks surprisingly invested in the conversation.

“Moths,” Kravitz replies. Taako shakes his head.

“Okay, good effort Mr. Science-guy, but a suit isn’t like, organic,” he insists. “All it is is fabric, man. Sure, you can _eat_ it, but that doesn’t mean there’s some nature decaying process that magic’s gotta account for just so you can eat a fucking apple.”

“But--,” Kravitz pauses. He can tell when an argument’s going nowhere, and he doesn’t want his cereal to get soggy just because he doesn’t agree with Taako. So, instead of forming a response, he eats and fumes.

Magnus stifles a laugh and Taako glares at him.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s just—I never thought anyone would be thinking so much about this castle.”

“It may be just a weird town landmark for you broseph, but it’s my _home,”_ Taako says. “Course I’m gonna be thinking about it.”

“If this castle has enough energy to power some sort of magic in almost _every single room_ ,” Kravitz interrupts. “Then what makes food so much more difficult?”

“It’s creating something from nothing, dude. You can’t do that. Haven’t you ever heard of the Philosopher’s Stone?” Taako reply is immediate and he seems almost disgusted Kravitz is asking him something so obvious.

“And the closets are an exception to this because…?”

“Because it’s a bunch of fabric spun together in different ways. It’s not nothing, it’s _recycling.”_

“So why can’t the kitchen do that as well?”

“Okay!” Magnus says, standing up. “It’s been real cool hearing you two argue about the rules of magic and whatever, but I kind of want to go home before sundown.”

“Sorry,” Kravitz says. “I got carried away. We can leave now.”

Taako watches the two of them leave with careful disinterest. As they reach the other side of the room, Taako calls out, “See ya later homeslice, hope you find some better arguments when you get back!”

Kravitz immediately turns to argue, but Magnus grabs his shoulders and very firmly leads the two of them out of the room.

“Okay bye Taako, love you!” Magnus calls back. “Maybe learn how to stop being a dick sometime!”

Magnus offers a cheerful wave as he leaves, but Kravitz opts to stick his tongue out instead.

You know, like an adult.

 

The walk to town is far shorter than Kravitz expected it to be. Despite the fact that he had walked to Taako’s castle and had somewhat of an idea of what was around, he felt like there had to be some dramatically dark forest he’d have to go through before hitting town.

But nope, there was nothing. Just a dirt road and a couple of shops in the distance. They were far enough to be out of sight, if they wanted to be, but close enough for visitors.

“So, how much d’ya know about Refuge?” Magnus asks as they walk. “Oh! Over here’s my shop! And coming up t’ the left’s the post office.”

“Only rumors,” Kravitz replies. “I heard about the Castle, but of course, everyone knows about that. I, er, also heard that the people of this town were quite fond of their beast, to put it kindly.”

“What, did they thing we all want to fuck Taako?”

“NO!” Kravitz cries out, horrified Magnus suggested it. “I meant like devil worshippers, oh my gosh.”

“Oh, that.” Magnus laughs. “Well, he is kind of the town mascot, but I can tell you, we’re _definitely_ not worshipping that guy.”

“Mascot?”

“Yeah, well, our town leader, Lucretia? One time, she ended up going to this like, wild party in the fairy world or whatever and then slept for twenty years. So she came outta that and was like, ‘hey, that was kind of fucked up. I wonder if anyone else was fucked up like me?’ And then she found the Castle, so she already found _one_ person—it wasn’t Taako, by the way, it was like, some dude named Klaarg or something—so she figured she could probably get others. And she did!”

“So everyone here has had magic effect their life in some way?” Kravitz asks. “Even you?”

“Most of us, anyways,” Magnus replies, fiddling with a ring on his finger. “There’s some vender’s over there if you wanna get some food. Probably should, I don’t think Taako’s bought anything here yet and he’s been here for like, a month.”

Kravitz nods, willing to drop the topic if need be.

“Considering everyone in town, I didn’t get it too bad,” Magnus adds. “But there’s someone I love out there and I—I can’t get to her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We all got shit we gotta deal with, you know? I mean, hell, that’s why Refuge _exists._ ”

Kravitz nods again. The two walk quietly for a few moments before Magnus startles Kravitz by yelling and grabbing him by the shoulder.

“Oh! We should stop in here!” Magnus says, dragging a very confused Kravitz into a shop filled with knitted goods and weapons. It was an interesting assortment, but the women in the store looked like interesting people. One of them was a tan woman in a dress she appeared to be knitting as she talked to a customer. The other was a darker woman in slightly more worn out clothing who was currently polishing a clear ball at a desk.

“This is a very interesting shop,” Kravitz says. “But I’m not sure how much I need a scarf right now.”

“Oh, you don’t need to _buy_ anything,” Magnus replies. “I just wanted you to meet two of the coolest ladies I know.”

“Hello Mr. Burnsides,” the darker woman says with a smile. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Kravitz! He’s living with Taako now.”

“My sincerest apologies.”

“There’s no need for that. I decided to stay out of my own free will.” As Kravitz speaks, the other woman perks up. She says something to her customer and then quickly makes her way to the front of the story, shoving her knitting needles in the sides of her dress.

“What’s this I hear about Taako gaining a roommate?” she asks.

“Man, are we really that low on town gossip we need to talk about Taako?” Magnus asks, clearly just as surprised by Kravitz at the sudden interest. The woman at the desk chuckles.

“If you want the full rundown on interesting events, you’d have to ask Paloma,” she says. “But in my humble opinion, I find the thought of a man who professes to hate people with all his being gaining a roommate fairly intriguing, to say the least.”

“Yeah, but Kravitz is like, hot,” Magnus points out. Kravitz rolls his eyes.

“No, no, he has a point,” the woman in the knit dress agrees. She examines Kravitz for a moment. “So, what made you decide to live in a magic castle with a monster?”

“Yeah, what are your intentions with Taako?”

“Magnus, that wasn’t what I meant.”

“He’s not really that frightening,” Kravitz replies with a shrug. “I suppose I just decided there wasn’t much of a reason to leave.”

“You’re an interesting sort,” the woman at the desk says with a smile. “How long do you plan on staying? Till the curse is broken?”

The other woman whacks her softly with one of the needles and says, “It’s far too early to be thinking about that, Darling. Now, Kravitz, Magnus, was there something you wanted from us?”

“I just figured I’d show him around a little,” Magnus explains. “And I figured it couldn’t hurt to introduce him to the ladies of the coolest Knitting/Weapons/Appliance store around.”

“Magnus, I’m fairly certain we’ve got the only one of those in all the land.”

“Hey, it’s still a cool store!”

“Well, we do try,” the woman at the desk says. “It’s nice to meet you, Kravitz. Feel free to come to us with any questions. We’ve been here for a while, I’m sure we’ll have an answer, even if it’s about the Castle.”

Kravitz opens his mouth and Magnus looks at him expectantly. Should he really do it? Does he really have to ask?

“Why does the Castle have such a limited selection of food when it can make while the ability to create clothing is limitless?”

The two women stare at Kravitz for a few moments while Magnus has a laughing fit next to him.

Kravitz has a feeling he isn’t getting an answer.


	3. The Most Magical Place on Earth

Almost immediately after leaving the Knitting/Weapons/Appliance store Kravitz and Magnus run into a man that Magnus engulfs into a hug and introduces as “Avi.”

“Hey!” Avi beams. “Who might you be, newcomer?”

“This is Kravitz,” Magnus says before Kravitz can answer. “He’s the guy Angus saw at Taako’s. Kravitz, this is Avi. He’s a _really_ cool dude.”

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Avi replies, nudging Magnus playfully. He turns to Kravitz. “So, how’re you liking town so far? I know Refuge can be pretty tough to get used to at first. There’s really no other place like it, after all!”

“It certainly does seem that way,” Kravitz agrees. “Thank you for your concern, but I think I’m doing just fine.”

“So he _says_ ,” Magnus interjects. “He hasn’t even meet Roswell yet. At least, I think he hasn’t.”

“I have not,” Kravitz confirms. “But I’m not quite sure one person could make me change my mind so quickly.”

“Roswell isn’t a person,” Avi explains. “They’re a golem. Well, and a canary.”

Kravitz takes a moment to absorb that fact.

“What the fuck,” he says.

 

Apparently, his statement is enough to make Magnus decide he needs to meet Roswell right away.

According to Avi, Roswell used to have a full golem body that was created with the purpose of protecting Sheriff Isaac’s niece, June, as well as the rest of the town, but it got destroyed doing just that. Isaac and June had lived in Refuge longer then Lucretia, actually, and most other people in town. They say they think Refuge was always full of some kind of special magic, and that’s why Istus chose it to put her castle. They think it’s also why Roswell’s a bit different than other golems, but admittedly, neither of them had seen any other golems.

“You can probably find Roz in the inn,” Avi says. “They like to visit June.”

“You sure you don’t wanna come with?” Magnus asks. “C’mon Avi. Be cool.”

“It was nice talking to the two of you, but _no_ ,” Avi shakes his head. “I still have work, and I’m not letting you rope me into ditching _again_. You two have fun, though. See you later, Mags.”

They wave goodbye and Magnus starts walking, so Kravitz follows.

 

The entrance to the inn is a dimly lit with few customers and two women working at a bar. One of them looks a bit older than the other and wields some sort of weapon at her hip. Something about her seems off, like she doesn’t belong, almost as if she was a cut out photo placed on top of a painting.  The younger has a bird on her shoulder, and wide eyes that look as though as though she’s discovered the secrets to the universe. Kravitz assumes this is June and the bird is Roswell, because he can’t imagine birds commonly come into inns.

“Hey, Roswell _is_ here!” Magnus grins and the bird on June’s shoulder perks up at the sound of their name. “Hey Roz, meet the newbie!”

Roswell flies across the room and lands on Kravitz shoulder and offers a greeting.

“Howdy, newcomer. What brings you to our fine town? We don’t normally get many outsiders.”

“He’s here to bang Taako,” Magnus says before Kravitz can answer. “C’mon, you should meet Ren and June too!”

“I’m not here to _bang_ anyone!” Kravitz protests. “I just came because—because I heard rumors I wanted to follow up on. That’s all. And I happen to be living with Taako.”

“So you’re an adventurer?” Roswell asks as they make their way back to June. “We don’t get many of those here either. Most of them don’t like beasts they can’t slay.”

“I don’t think I could really call myself an adventurer,” Kravitz says. “I haven’t been to that many places.”

“Hey, you gotta start somewhere,” Magnus says. “Why not Refuge?”

One of the girls behind the counter—Ren, he assumed—laughs at that.

“I don’t think Refuge is a real adventuring hotspot,” she says. “Heck, I came here to settle down.”

“You were an adventurer?” Kravitz asks, curious. Ren does look like she could handle herself in a fight, but something about her seems too sweet for her to have lived a life where she actively went looking for them.

“I didn’t really have a choice,” Ren admits. “I’m not actually from this world, you see! I got lost here when I was little, so I had to make the best of things. Speaking of which, do you know if Taako cooks?”

“I don’t think so, why?”

“Someone from my world had a name like that. He was really famous—or, well, _I_ thought he had to be—and everything he cooked always came out amazing, no matter what he did! Taako wasn’t really a popular name, either, so I figure if we’re from the same place, it’s gotta be him.”

“That does make sense,” Kravitz says with a nod. “I’m sorry you couldn’t find your way home.”

“Oh, I had plenty of chances to go home,” Ren dismisses him with a laugh. “I just like it here in Refuge, that’s all.”

“Oh, I see,” Kravitz doesn’t _really_ understand, but he’s glad that Ren was offered a choice. “If he is the same Taako, is there anything I should say?”

“Just that I loved his show,” Ren replies.

“If you wanna meet him, just come up,” June interrupts, addressing two women at a nearby table. “You don’t gotta eavesdrop.”

“We weren’t _eavesdropping_ ,” the shorter woman protests. “You’re too close for us _not_ to hear you.”

“Carey,” the woman with her says. “We were totally eavesdropping.”

“Just a little,” Carey relents. “Hey Newbie, I’m Carey. And this is my wonderful girlfriend Killian.”

Killian raises a hand as a greeting. Kravitz nods back.

“I’m Kravitz. Nice to meet you.”

“You should come sit with us,” Killian says. “Tell us about yourself.”

“I’m a very uninteresting person,” Kravitz replies. “I don’t know if I have that much to say. I was, also, here with Mr. Burnsides.”

“Hey, you should totally chill with Kill!” Magnus says. “Make some new friends, dude. I’ve got commissions to work on back at my workshop if you think I’m gonna third wheel—well, forth wheel? That doesn’t really make sense ‘cause that’d make it structurally more sound and make things _better_ but—anyways, go ahead.”

“If you’re certain,” Kravitz says, sitting down besides the couple.

“C’mon dude,” Carey says. “Live a little! Drink a beer, tell us strangers your life story, go fuck a beast.”

“Don’t encourage people to fuck monsters,” Killian tells her. “People are going to think you’ve got weird hang-ups.”

“Well,” Kravitz says. “I have been told Refuge is home to all kinds of people.”

“This is what I get for being an extrovert,” Carey declares dramatically. “Insulted! First I was cursed by a witch, and now this!”

“You were cursed by a witch?”

“Almost everyone in town was,” Carey explains. “It’s almost a joke at this point. Like, if you said a witch cursed you for any reason, someone would probably believe it.”

“That’s Refuge,” Killian smirks, taking a swig of her drink. “The most magical place on Earth!”

 

The day passes faster than Kravitz expects, and pretty soon he realizes he needs to head home. Thanks to Magnus’s social nature, more of the trip was spent talking to friends than it was walking around. At least now Kravitz has a vague idea of where everything is and people to ask for help. Killian, for example, had volunteered herself and Carey to help Kravitz carry everything he bought back to the Castle which, considering the little amount of food it had, was a lot.

“Have either of you met Taako before?” Kravitz asks.

“The only ones who go to the Castle are Merle, Magnus, and Angus,” Killian replies. “And one time, the mayor. I don’t really have a reason to make the trip, so I don’t.”

“He lives kind of far away from us,” Carey adds. “And we’ve already seen the Castle before so it’s not really worth it. We were planning on coming with Noelle, though, weren’t we?”

“Yeah, if we had the chance. Noelle’s new to town, like you,” Killian explains. “She’s kind of dead, but she’s pretty cool. She’s been living with us since she got here, so we’re kind of showing her around.”

“Maybe we should have gotten her,” Carey muses. “Then we’d have an excuse to show her around.”

“We can’t just show up uninvited to someone’s house and start wandering around,” Killian protests. “It’d be rude.”

“I don’t think Taako would mind too much,” Kravitz says. “He’d probably say it was alright as long as you didn’t bother him.”

Carey sticks her tongue out at her girlfriend, who just rolls her eyes and chuckles.

“If that’s the case, I’m sure we’ll be seeing you again soon, Kravitz,” Killian says. “Hope you don’t mind us barging into your home.”

“No need to barge in,” Kravitz replies. “I’ll just open the door.”

“No, it’s cool,” Carey insists. “We can find a way in.”

“Pretty sure the Castle has magical defenses,” Killian reminds her.

“We can find a way in,” Carey repeats with certainty.

“It appears you two have a very interesting set of skills,” Kravitz notes.

“Well, I have a crossbow and a lot of upper arm strength,” Killian says. “And she has a lock pick and the agility of a boneless cat. So we’re pretty much unstoppable.”

“I see,” Kravitz says, and stops. “Do you want to come inside, or…?”

“Might as well,” Killian shrugs. “I already brought everything this far.”

Without anyone moving, the castle door swings open and the three of them step inside, only to get greeted by Taako jumping out in front of them and roaring at the top of his lungs. Kravitz takes a couple steps backwards in surprise, but the girls seem unfazed.

“Wow!” Carey says. “You’re _way_ better at that then the last guy!”

“He could use some practice,” Killian disagrees. “I’d better get this to the kitchen.”

“That’s it?” Taako whines as she walks away. “Not even a startled gasp?”

“You’re not very monster-y, dude,” Carey replies.

“Sure I am!” Taako insists. “I’m horrible! I’m _frightening._ Why else do you think I’m here, huh?”

“Istus works in mysterious ways,” Killian calls back from the kitchen.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you almost killed Kravitz,” Carey adds, patting Taako’s arm.

“He didn’t,” Kravitz insists. “He simply caught me by surprise.”

“Alright, buddy,” Carey replies, not bothering to hide her disbelief. “If you say so.”

Kravitz scowls at her as Killian emerges from the kitchen.

“We better head home,” she says. “It was nice meeting you Kravitz. It was kind of okay meeting you, Taako.”

“Wow, thanks,” Taako says.

“I mean, you seem like kind of a jerk,” Carey adds. “But you’re probably an okay jerk.”

“Of course he is,” Killian says to her girlfriend as the two wave goodbye. “Istus wouldn’t chose someone irredeemable.”

Killian, Kravitz thinks, has a very dramatic way of leaving. He notices Taako staring at the door and offers him some grapes.

“So you can eat something healthy for once in your life,” Kravitz explains. Taako snorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more town exploring! Since Ren actually did know Taako before Refuge, I decided to keep that in. She probably won a ticket to see Taako's show live or something when she was 14 & Taako was like 19 or 20, and then sizzling it up went on for like six more years, putting Ren at around 20 now, which is a bit young to own a bar, but hey. it's a fantasy bar.  
> I really should find a way to include ages in this. You have no way of knowing how old I want everyone to be.


	4. Kravitz Gets Yelled At Which Is, Frankly, A Bit Rude

The next few days pass uneventfully. Kravitz spends most of his time wandering around alone. He and Taako barely know each other, and regardless of Kravitz’s blooming crush, it’s a bit awkward trying to spend so much time with someone you barely no anything about. There was also the fact that the longer Kravitz stayed with Taako, the more he was starting to realize how impossible it was to sync up a schedule with someone who could be anywhere.

If Kravitz was on one side of the Castle, Taako would be on the other. If Taako went looking for Kravitz in the Castle, he’d be in the garden. Or if Kravitz had accepted he wasn’t going to see Taako that day and decided to, for example, jump on a spare bed until it broke to see if it’d magically fix itself, Taako would conveniently find his way to the room just in time to catch Kravitz hitting his head on the ceiling because the bed decided it had enough.

In order to stop himself from ever being anywhere near that embarrassed again, Kravitz decides to see if Angus knows Taako’s schedule, but instead of finding a small boy, he finds a small bearded man talking to vines.

“Er,” Kravitz says, clearing his throat. “Am I interrupting something?”

The man turns suddenly, his shock quickly replaced by a scowl. He places his one hand on his hip and glares at Kravitz.

“So yer the newcomer everyone’s been speaking about, huh?” he says. “Better not mess up my garden.”

“I doubt everyone’s been talking about me,” Kravitz replies. “And I’m not sure this is ‘your’ garden. It’s Taako’s.”

“It’s my garden,” the man—Kravitz feels confident in assuming it’s Taako’s friend ‘Merle’—insists. “This ain’t Taako’s house, he just lives in it. And he’s _certainly_ not paying enough attention to these plants enough for me to call this _his garden.”_

“I was under the impression this was called Beasts’ Castle. Is he not the ‘beast?’”

“That’s watcha call a ‘misnomer,’ kid. It’s Istus’s castle. She bought it herself.”

“So you’re her gardener?” Kravitz asks. Merle bristles.

“I’m not a _gardener,”_ he spits. “And if I was, it wouldn’t be for some witch! No, I’m a servant of Pan. And as a worshipper of nature, I take it upon myself to make sure the nature gets properly worshipped.”

“I don’t like how you said that.”

“Yeah, no one does.”

Kravitz isn’t really sure what to say to this, aside from maybe calling him a jerk, so he stares quietly for a moment and watches Merle water some flowers.

“You’re Merle, aren’t you? Taako mentioned that he knew someone by that name.”

“That’d be me.”

“So you must know him pretty well.”

“Look kid,” Merle begins. “Whatever you’re thinking of, it’s not gonna work out all that nice. I mean, what do you think is going t’ happen? Because, lemme tell you, in my personal experience gettin’ with someone who you free from a curse don’t end well. Sure, you get along swell for the first coupla’ years, but then the next thing you know, everything you say’s getting on the other’s nerves.”

“I just wanted to know if you knew where he was,” Kravitz replies. He doesn’t understand where the assumption he was trying to break Taako’s curse came from, he’d barely been in town for a _week._ He didn’t have time to do anything so important. “I can’t find him.”

“Oh,” Merle seems slightly embarrassed. “There should be an elevator ‘round the back. It leads right to Taako’s room.”

“Thank you,” Kravitz says. “Sorry for bothering you. And for whatever else happened.”

Merle doesn’t say anything to this and instead just snorts in response, so Kravitz makes his way to the elevator. It leads to a hallway Kravitz isn’t familiar with that has several doors. One of them, Kravitz assumes, must be Taako’s room.

After trying a few doors, Kravitz finds a giant ball of fur he assumes is Taako sprawled out on a bed.

“Taako?” Kravitz asks, unsure whether he should come in or not. “Is this a bad time?”

The ball of fur groans and shuffles until Taako’s face is facing him. Taako looks annoyed, but not worryingly so.

“It’s cool my man,” Taako says. “There’s just not much to do ‘round here besides catch some z’s.”

Kravitz resists the urge to point out that they currently live in a magic castle which had numerous rooms, almost all of which had something unique and incredible inside. Instead, Kravitz says, “We could go speak to Merle. He’s right outside.”

“Do you think Merle wants to talk to you?” Taako asks. It sounds less harsh then it could have considering Taako had a point. Merle didn’t seem to interested in becoming Kravitz’s friend, or even tolerating him.

“I assume he likes you a bit more than he does me,” Kravitz replies. “I called him a ‘gardener.’”

Taako stares at Kravitz for a moment before bursting into laughter. Kravitz frowns.

“Oh man, he _really_ isn’t gonna like you,” Taako says. Kravitz’s frown turns into an angry scowl.

“It’s not as though I could _know_ not to say,” Kravitz tells him, sounding a bit whinier then he’d like. “All I know about Merle is that you think he’s lazy, and don’t trust him with a shopping list.”

Taako’s laughter gets louder.

“Taako!” Kravitz protests. He can see the humor in his statement, but he doesn’t feel it warrants so much attention. Kravitz knows how to tell a joke—he’s funny, and one day he’ll prove it—and he’s fairly certain talking about groceries generally makes for a poor one.

“That’s _exactly_ what I think of Merle!” Taako says, his laughter finally dying down. “He’s a useless plant man! Shit, I don’t even know what he does all day cause I don’t know if Refuge has any temples of Pan!”

“I didn’t see any,” Kravitz tells him. Taako begins to giggle but stops suddenly.

“Shit,” he says, looking as though he’s had a sudden realization. “What _does_ he do all day?”

Kravitz shrugs. “You know him better than I do.”

“Not that well, buddy,” Taako says. “I’ve been here for a month.”

“That’s several weeks longer then I have,” Kravitz reminds him. “If you don’t want to see Merle, though, I’m sure Angus is available as well.”

“Nah,” Taako shakes his head. “Kid’s busier then he looks. He don’t need us cramping his style.”

“Really?” Kravitz couldn’t imagine anything that had him that busy at Angus’s age. “Well, we could always--,”

“Why do you care?” Taako interrupts. He sounds angry and Kravitz isn’t sure what to make of the sudden change in tone. Had he pushed too far? “I mean, shit, you’re only here cuz your dad made you come! You can do whatever the fuck you want; it doesn’t have to me with me!”

“I just…,” Kravitz trails off. He’s not sure what to say. He’s not here because of his father of course, but Taako didn’t know that and—

_Oh._

Taako _didn’t_ know. Did he think Kravitz was staying out of duty? Did he think Kravitz thought of the Castle as some sort of cage he’d never escape? Did he think Kravitz _hated_ him?

“My father didn’t want me to come, you know,” Kravitz says finally. “He didn’t plan on keeping his promise.”

“Then why did you _come_?” Taako growls. He’s confused. Kravitz doesn’t blame him; he barely understands why he went himself. Poor impulse control? Spite, maybe, or pettiness.

Maybe it had been an excuse to leave home, or to have an adventure. Maybe it was just…

“I don’t know,” Kravitz admits. He wishes he could say more. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Must be _nice_ ,” Taako spits. “Being able to _choose_ to just leave like that.”

“You don’t know anything about how I’ve lived,” Kravitz protests. He’s trying not to let it get to him, but he can hear his voice getting more cockneyed by the second. “You don’t get to presume I’m some _child_ who ran away from home on a whim!”

“Then why _stay?”_ Taako asks, finally standing up from the bed. He towers over Kravitz, but Kravitz isn’t frightened. Mostly, he’s _pissed._ “I get it! Castle’s cool! Fun vacation spot, huh? Well, vacation’s over, **_güey!”_**

“I’m not--,”

“Not what?” Taako demands. “Not here because you just fucking felt like it? Not here to meet the big bad beast in person? Not here because you want some fucking magic in your life? C’mon bad boy, why the _fuck_ are you here?”

 _“You!”_ Kravitz shouts. “I may not know why I came, but I know why I stayed. And it was because I wanted to get to know _you._ ”

He regrets saying it almost immediately. Taako’s face crumbles. It’s clear the argument’s over—Taako looks more likely to tear up then yell, and Kravitz isn’t even sure Taako _can_ cry.

“Well,” Taako gives a bitter laugh. “Guess that wasn’t your smartest decision, huh?”

“It’s not your fault,” Kravitz says. “I would have been suspicious of me, if I was you.”

“I shouldn’t’ve yelled,” Taako says. Kravitz shrugs.

“It’s not as though you didn’t have a reason to,” he says. “You could have been nicer, yes, but your reaction was perfectly understandable. You’re not an unreasonable man, you know.”

“Not a man,” Taako says automatically. “I’m a beast, remember?”

“Of course,” Kravitz agrees. “My apologies. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Nah,” Taako says. His bed nudges him slightly and Taako falls back onto it. “S’cool homie. Shouldn’t’ve tried to force it out of you.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Kravitz asks. It wasn’t like their argument had been incredibly long or mean spirited, but that didn’t mean it didn’t feel draining. Kravitz didn’t want to argue with Taako, and he was fairly certain Taako felt the same way.

“That’d be cool,” Taako says. “We can do something later. Just—gimme a minute, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kravitz agrees and heads for the door.

“Hey Krav?” Taako says. Kravitz turns his head. “Before I got here, I did something bad. I didn’t mean to, but _shit,_ it turned nasty. I’m just saying I don’t… I don’t understand why someone would want to be around me after that. That’s all I’m gonna say about it.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Kravitz says, closing the door as he leaves. “I believe you.”

Before Kravitz makes his way back down to the elevator, a mirror on the wall catches his eye. In it, he can see a reflection, but it’s not _his_ reflection. The face in the mirror is more feminine then his with hair pulled into a messy bun. The face quickly notices Kravitz staring and calls out for him.

“Can you hear me?” the face asks, her expression full of worry and urgency. “Who are you?”

“My name is Kravitz,” Kravitz replies, trying to keep the shock from his face. “Who are you? Why are you in this mirror?”

“I’m looking for my husband,” she says. “I was trying to find a mirror near him, I don’t know why it didn’t work.”

“If your husband has been cursed, Refuge would be the place to find him,” Kravitz tells her. He considers calling Taako, but decides against it. Taako might know what kind of magic the woman was using, but he didn’t think Taako would appreciate being pulled into any sort of adventure at the moment. “Who are you, and who looking for?”

“I’m Julia,” the woman says. “Julia Burnsides. Magnus Burnsides is my husband.”

Maybe, Kravitz thinks, he should get Taako anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the podcast Taako sometimes doesn't refer to himself as a "man" & only as an elf so i feel like the human alternative is basically just him going "I'm not a guy i'm chicano" or "I'm no man, I'm a monster." That's just my opinion though!  
> Sorry for leaving this on a bit of a cliffhanger? I just felt it was better then the alternative


	5. Magnus Gets a Mirror

Julia can see the recognition in Kravitz’s face and her eyes light up.

“You know him, don’t you?” she asks. “Do you know where he is?”

“Taako,” Kravitz calls. “Taako, there’s a talking woman in your mirror. She’s asking for Magnus.”

“Please,” Julia begs. She turns to look at something Kravitz can’t see then turns back quickly. “I don’t know how much time I have. I’m not good with magic artifacts, and my friend Sloane says there’s something coming soon.”

“I’ll tell Magnus you’re safe,” Kravitz promises her. “Do you want me to pass on a message?”

“Tell him I love him,” Julia says. Already, she was beginning to fade from the mirror. “Tell him I’ll find him. And tell him that—“

This, of course is when Taako decides to leave his room. Kravitz turns to greet him, but by the time he turns back, Julia was gone. Kravitz frowns and touches the mirror, hoping to somehow bring her back, but all it does is show Julia’s blurry outline on top of Kravitz’s own reflection.

“I think I met Magnus’s wife,” Kravitz says. Taako stares at him.

“Dude, I left you alone for like, _five seconds.”_

 

According to Taako, the reason Kravitz saw Julia probably had a lot to do with distance.

“Like, I don’t know shit about geography ok? Especially not here,” Taako says. “But we _know_ there’s a shit ton of magic in this swanky castle. And Refuge can’t be like, that close to whatever shithole Julia’s currently kicking it in. So we’re like, a beacon or whatever. Signal strength’s a fucking monster over here.”

The other option was that Kravitz had some sort of latent magic power that helped draw the signal to him that could be—but not likely—strong enough to divert it from it’s original destination.

“So how do we call her back?” Kravitz asks. “I don’t really want to go up to your friend and tell him I saw his wife, but that I have no way of letting _him_ see her.”

“We could give him the mirror,” Taako replies. The two take a moment to stare dubiously at the mirror in front of them. “If it’s in a magic castle, it’s probably got like, some magic, right?”

“So there’s a chance it might work anyways,” Kravitz frowns. He wishes this was less confusing.

“I mean, like, we gotta tell Mags no matter what,” Taako says. “Even if it’s just to say, ‘Hey, it’s chill, your wife hasn’t been wandering around the desert blinded by some thorns or something.’”

“Magnus isn’t Rapunzel,” Kravitz tells him.

“You got that? _Ha!”_ Taako laughs. “What a nerd.”

“Says the one who _made_ the reference,” Kravitz scoffs. “Is Magnus busy now? We should tell him as soon as we can.”

“Magnus doesn’t have a schedule, dude,” Taako says. “It fucks him up. People just pay him to carve shit and he says ‘cool, I’ll have it done whenever’ and he just alternates between spending his day fucking around and doing shit.”

“So we have no idea what he’s doing or where he is right now,” Kravitz summarizes. “Well, that’s no excuse not to go find him. He must be somewhere. Come on.”

“Wait,” Taako says, clearly startled. “You want _me_ to go with _you?”_

“I always want you with me,” Kravitz replies. “Besides, he is your friend.”

“I dunno how much help I’d be,” Taako says. “’Less you want me to just _scare_ some peeps into helping us.”

“You can do that if you want,” Kravitz says. “I just think you might be able to explain what’s going on a bit better than I could. I don’t know too much about magic.”

“Well, if you _really_ need my expert opinion,” Taako sighs dramatically. “I guess I gotta.”

 

Taako walks into town wearing a very large sunhat, pink sunglasses, and a skirt so bright it hurt Kravitz’s eyes. Kravitz could tell he wasn’t very comfortable with the thought of so many people seeing him, but he also clearly wasn’t going to change how he dressed because he thought people might stare.

Luck for them, Magnus was in his workshop. For some reason, Avi and Agnus were there as well. When they walked in, Magnus was making a chair as he talked to Avi, while Angus was reading quietly in a corner. All three of them looked up when they saw Kravitz and Taako open the door.

“Hey dudes,” Magnus says. “What’s with the mirror?”

“Magnus,” Taako says seriously. “Kravitz has the _weirdest_ fucking story to tell you.”

“Okay,” Magnus blinks, clearly unsure what the mirror has to do with that. “What is it?”

“I met your wife,” Kravitz blurts out. “She uh, she appeared in this mirror. She was asking for you.”

“She was?” Magnus asks softly, his voice almost cracking. Avi shoots him a worried look. He puts down the chair he was working on and turns his full attention to Kravitz. “Tell me everything.”

“It was a short conversation,” Kravitz begins. “Apparently, a companion of her’s said they needed to go. She just wanted to know where you were, and said she was going to come find you, and to tell you that she loves you. She came across an enchanted mirror, and wanted to use it to speak to you. Taako thinks you might have been too far to get the message.”

“Is _that_ mirror enchanted too?” Angus asks, pointing at the mirror in Taako’s hands.

“Hey, we talked to some chick like, lightyears away on this,” Taako replies. “I think that’s pretty fucking enchanting.”

“Taako said the Castle might have increased the magical abilities of the mirror,” Kravitz says. “So having this around should allow for easier contact.”

“That’s a very smart theory, Sirs!” Angus compliments.

“Hey, I was just using some common sense,” Taako says, tapping his forehead with a claw. “First rule of being a detective, yeah?”

Angus beams. Clearly, it was a conversation they had before.

“Can we talk to her right now, do you think?” Avi asks. “It’d be best to find that out now, right?”

“Last time, the image almost came back when I touched it,” Kravitz replies. He hesitates for a moment and then places his palm on the mirror. Almost immediately, it springs to life. Julia’s face is turned away from the mirror, clearly speaking to someone nearby. She seems happier then when she was talking to Kravitz. Someone near her tells a bad joke and she laughs so hard her whole body shakes.

“Jules,” Magnus gasps, tears quickly forming in his eyes. Julia’s attention turns towards the mirror and she gasps as well.

“Magnus!” she cries out. “Magnus, it’s been _so long.”_

“I _know,”_ Magnus says. “Where have you been?”

“Callen sent me to Goldcliff originally,” Julia replies. “I’ve been traveling around since then with a couple I met. I didn’t know how to find Raven’s Roost, but I figured that if I kept walking and I kept hoping, I’d find you eventually.”

“And here I am,” Magnus says. The couple smiles at each other with an expression so full of love it makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable.

“Here you are,” Julia agrees. Kravitz, realizing his hand is still on the mirror, pulls his arm away. The image in the mirror disappears and everyone immediately starts screaming, so Kravitz pulls his arm back as quickly as possible, accidentally pushing the mirror into Taako in the process.

“What happened?” Avi asks.

“Looks like Krav here’s got some locating magic,” Taako says. Kravitz stares at his hands. “Guess you’d make a pretty good assassin-for-hire, buddy. Or a tax collector.”

“I just put my hand on the mirror,” Kravitz protests. “I can’t have that much effect.”

“Hey, you found Refuge, didn’t you?” Magnus says. “You’re like, the first person I know who’s actually gotten here on _purpose_.”

“How many people do you think look for Refuge?” Kravitz replies. Magnus shrugs.

“I don’t think the average person _can_ look for Refuge, actually, Sir,” Angus says. “I’m sure Mrs. Julia will have no problem getting here, now that she has us to help her! But, um, Refuge isn’t really on any maps, or talked about in any circles. So really the only way you can find it is if you see it!”

“I’m no expert on magic,” Julia says. “But if what your all saying is true, then thank you, Kravitz, for helping me find my husband.”

“I wasn’t _trying_ to,” Kravitz replies. It sounds much meaner and much less humble then he was going for. “Er.”

“It’s cool,” Magnus reassures him. “It was a happy accident! So thanks for that.”

“Does this mean you’re going to need to get Kravitz if you want to talk to Julia, though?” Avi asks. “Because I feel like that could get annoying pretty fast.”

“Hey, before this, I couldn’t talk to her at _all,”_ Magnus says, giving him a toothy grin. “Having a messenger-dude is still a pretty big improvement.”

“I might be able to contact you, though,” Julia adds. “The mirror _I_ have is meant for things like that. I messed up a bit on my first try, but now that I know where you are, I’m sure I can call you anytime.”

“That’d be pretty cool,” Magnus nods. “Then you can tell me about all the fun stuff you’re doing without me, like petting dogs I’ll never see.”

“There’s been an unfortunate lack of dogs in my journey,” Julia admits. “I’ve pet one or two, but Hurley says that dogs shouldn’t be forced into such a hectic lifestyle, so I haven’t gotten one. They’re right, of course. A dog needs a stable home.”

“No dogs on adventurers?” Magnus asks, sounding horrified.

“No dogs on adventures,” Julia repeats sadly. “Did you get a dog?”

“I _did_ ,” Magnus says. He stays up and quickly rushes into another room. He comes back with a small orange dog that wags his tail when he sees how many people are in the room. “His name is Steven and he barks a lot and loves me.”

“Wow,” Julia says, tears in her eyes. “I love our small fluffy son.”

“He’s a good boy,” Magnus agrees. “Enough about me, though. What’s going on in your awesome adventure life?”

“Well, Hurley and Sloane have a quest of their own,” Julia explains. “You see, a bunch of shit happened to them in Goldcliff that got Sloane a bit, well, cursed, so we’ve been looking for that to stop being like, a thing. I figured I could probably find a way to get back to you while I was wandering around with them. Mostly, we’ve just been spending our time helping people and going on ridiculous quests.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Magnus says.

“It’d be more fun with you,” Julia tells him. Kravitz hears a quiet gagging sound from behind her.

“Same,” Taako whispers, just loud enough for Julia to raise an eyebrow.

“I should probably get going,” Julia says with a sigh. “I’d love to talk to you all day, and tell you _everything_ that’s happened, but there’s just _so much_ and Sloane needs me now. I’ll talk to you soon, I promise.”

“Jules, wait!” Magnus quickly cups his hands together to form a heart. “I love you.”

“You _dork_ ,” Julia says with a laugh. She blows a kiss towards him and disappears from the mirror. Kravitz takes his hand away.

“I should probably go too,” Avi says, a bit awkwardly. “I only meant to stop in for a little. You coming, Angus?”

“No thank you! Taako said I could look through his library whenever I wanted, as long as he was there to make sure the books didn’t eat me,” Agnus replies. “I’d like to look into what kinds of magic was used to allow Mrs. Burnsides to speak with us, if that’s alright!”

“Damn, you’re one curious kid, pumpkin,” Taako says. “But hey, why the fuck not?”

“Do you want us to leave now?” Kravitz asks Magnus. “We don’t really have anywhere to be, and you’ve clearly had an emotional day.”

“Yeah, but I have Steven,” Magnus says. The dog in question barks happily. “So it’s not like I’m alone.”

“Fuck, it’s my first time outta that castle in _ages_ ,” Taako says, handing Kravitz the mirror and sitting down. “I got time t’ chill with my buds.”

“Cool,” Magnus says.

Magnus picks up his half-finished chair and goes back to working on it, waving a quick good-bye to Avi as he left. Kravitz places the mirror down, wondering if they were going to just leave it there or bring it back to the Castle. A problem for the future, he supposed.

“Cool cool,” Taako agrees. “C’mere Ango, let me see what kinda shit you read.”

“Personally, I think it’s very good,” Angus says, climbing into Taako’s lap and holding up his book for Taako to read.

Kravitz smiles. The two of them were adorable. He glances back to Magnus, who’s humming, and working without a care.

It’d be nice, Kravitz thinks, to know that you’d always have someone to welcome home, no matter how long you were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a couple, Julia and Magnus are very much that comic with the two people crying and going "Dogs are so good."  
> Also, the Rapunzel reference is to the brothers grimm version where, according to google (i wanted to make sure i referenced it right) Rapunzel cures her prince's blindness with her "magical non-virgin tears." So like, the more you know.  
> Also, next chapter will probably just be about Julia & how she met the tree gays, who are doing very well and currently not trees.


	6. Sapphic Interlude: The Women Who Could Be Trees

Julia had been in town for less than five minutes and somehow, she had managed to get tied up in vines at the local bank.

How, you ask? Because she was Julia fucking Burnsides and she was having the worst day in human history.

But mainly it was because she kind of got transported to a random town’s bank that just so happened to be covered in vines.

Man, she wanted to go _home._ At least if she had Magnus with her, she’d be tied up in vines with _company._

After mentally bemoaning her situation for a couple of minutes, Julia hears a crash as a small woman smashes through the window. The woman stares at her for a moment in disbelief then takes out a dagger and starts hacking away at the vines.

“How did you _get_ here?” the woman asks. “The vines have got all the entrances covered!”

“I don’t know why you’re acting like this is so surprising,” Julia replies. “You got in, didn’t you?”

“I’m an officer of the law!” the woman protests, finally cutting enough for Julia to wiggle free. “I should be able to get into vine covered buildings!”

Julia falls to the ground and gives the woman a thumbs up. “Thanks for the help, officer…?”

“Hurley,” the woman says. “I’m Lieutenant Hurley. And you should really get going now.”

“I thought all the entrances were blocked?” Julia asks innocently. She’s fairly confident in her ability to climb down to freedom using the vines, but she really wants to see what caused something like this to happen in the first place.

“You do realize I’m a terrible cop if I let you come along with me?” Hurley responds. Julia just stares hopefully at her. “Okay, fine. Just—just stay back. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Thank you,” Julia says. “Can I ask what’s the deal with all of this?”

“There’s a thief in town who was granted with powerful magic,” Hurley tells her, voice hard. “They call her… The Raven. She’s the one responsible for this.”

“Just one person?” Julia whistles softly. “That’s incredible. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It must be hard.”

“She never used to be so interested in things like this,” Hurley sighs. “We never had this problem before.”

“Sometimes power changes people,” Julia says.

Suddenly, a figure in a raven mask emerges from the vines.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to talk about people behind their back?” she asks coolly.

“How did you _get here_?” Julia shrieks, taking a step back. Hurley doesn’t seem as worried.

“Sloane!” she cries out. “You’re a good person, Sloane, why are you doing this?”

“If you really think that,” Sloane says. “You’re more naïve then I thought.”

The vines around Julia began grabbing at her clothing, trying to restrain her. Julia kicks at them, but knows it’s futile. Next to her, Hurley looks like she’s only having slightly better luck.

“Sloane!” Hurley says again. “I don’t understand. You never wanted this, I know you didn’t.”

“I didn’t,” Sloane agrees. “Now I do.”

A vine next to Julia grabs her by the waist and pulls her in the air. Julia pounds on it and screams. She wishes she had some way of defending herself but of course, her axe was back in Raven’s Roost and Sloane didn’t give her enough time to grab her dagger. Slowly, Sloane walks in front of Julia.

“How did you get here?” she demands. “The vines should have covered everything by now.”

“Except that window the Lieutenant jumped through,” Julia agrees. A thought occurs to her. “Did you _want_ her to stop you?”

“What? No!” Sloane insists, but Julia could hear the hesitation in her voice. Apparently, Hurley could too, because her eyes light up.

“We can help you,” Hurley says. “I know we can. But you have to _let us.”_

“It’s too late for that,” Sloane sighs, all harshness in her gone by the end of her sentence. The vines around them start edging closer to her as she walks closer to the wall. “It’s too late for me.”

With that, she disappears.

“Well,” Julia says, still hanging from the vines. “That could have gone worse.”

 

Hurley drops Julia off at the desk of a coworker who specializes in magical displacement and goes to talk to her captain. The coworker tells her he’s never heard of Raven’s Roost and gives her a complementary backpack that contains a map, a water flask, and an ID that says “Sorry! I left my ID on a different plane of reality.” Apparently, the ID should work in place of a real one for about a year, and after that they expect you to go through an official process to get an actual one. Since most displaced people don’t bother sticking around, there’s no reason to make her go through the work now. This suits Julia just fine.

The policeman drones on about rules and important regulations but Julia sees Hurley heading out the door so she slips away from him and runs after her.

“So,” Julia says as they leave the militia station. “What are we going to do?”

“ _We?”_ Hurley asks with a frown. “What do you _mean?_ You’re just a civilian, you can’t arrest the Raven!”

“Well, _duh_ ,” Julia says. “But you’re not planning on arresting her, are you?”

Hurley turns away but doesn’t say anything, so Julia continues. “You know her, don’t you? You called her ‘Sloane.’ I don’t think you want to put her in jail; you want to save her.”

“My first duty is to my city,” Hurley says, but her heart clearly isn’t in it. “One woman shouldn’t come before everything, especially not one I’ve been told to attack on sight!”

“They don’t know her like you do,” Julia replies. “They don’t know what to do. It happens; we’re only human, after all. But sometimes people who don’t know what they’re doing are making laws, and they do more harm than good. Do you think what your captain wants is going to do that?”

“Yes!” Hurley cries. “You can’t attack her—she’s too powerful, you’ll just make her angry! We need some way of appealing to her humanity, of reminding her who she is.”

“So,” Julia says again. “What are we going to do?”

“Have you ever heard of battle wagon racing?”

 

Hurley’s battle wagon is the most beautiful wagon Julia’s ever laid her eyes on. As Hurley explains the basics of battle racing, Julia examines every inch of the awesome monstrosity in front of her.

“Sloane and I used to be partners,” Hurley continues. “And battle racing partners. We called ourselves ‘The Raven and The Ram.’ I’m hoping if I race her, she’ll regain enough of her former spirit to break the spell placed on her. If you want, you could race with me.”

“I’d love to,” Julia replies earnestly. “My husband’s lost to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. I don’t want you to suffer the same fate.”

“Thanks.” Hurley gives a small smile. “Everyone has to race masked, seeing as racing’s illegal. What kind of animal would you like yours to be?”

“Can I be a starfish?” Julia replies after a few moments of thinking. Hurley raises an eyebrow. “Come on! Imagine how cool that’d be. Plus, they can regenerate from like, anything. That’s got to bring us good luck. And they’re always just doing their own thing! Chilling on whatever rock’s in sight. No current can bring a starfish down.”

“Okay,” Hurley nods. “That’s a weird way of putting it, but it does sound nice. There’s just one thing we’re going to need.”

“What’s that?”

“We need an arcane core. It’s a very special type of engine, and the only ones I know who have it is a team of enemy battle waggoneers. There’s no way we could get one unless we took it from them. And as an officer of the law, I don’t feel comfortable taking it myself.”

“Don’t worry,” Julia reassures her. “I’ve got a plan.”

 

She most certainly did not have a plan. As Julia stood in front of the entrance to the Hammerhead gang warehouse she considered her options.

For one thing, Julia was a horrible liar. There was no way she could just stroll up and give some elaborate story so compelling the people guarding the door would feel like they needed to let her in.

She couldn’t knock them out either. She could get one or two, but the third would definitely have time to raise an alarm. And she wasn’t going to _kill_ them. That’d be wrong.

Plus, Hurley told her not to, and she didn’t have a gun.

Could she try sex appeal? Did she _have_ sex appeal? Not that she wanted to flirt with a strange man only hours after being torn away from her husband.

And Hurley said there was no other way in. Hrm.

Julia scanned the building dubiously. If there was no other entrance, she could always make one. If she stole an axe and hit in the right places, she could probably make a hole without making too much noise. Yeah, that was probably a good idea.

 

Five minutes later, Julia was running from a gang of angry men shouting and shooting arrows at her.

“This was _not_ a good idea,” she whispers to herself, quickly tossing the arcane core in her backpack.

Fortunately for her, Julia knew how to hide. The benefit of being part of a war was that if you survived it, you learned how to survive almost anything.

“What do you _mean_ you can’t find her?” Julia hears a shrill voice demand. “That broad’s gotta be somewhere. Keep lookin’!”

Safe in her hiding spot, Julia grins.

 

Hurley puts the finishing touches on their wagon when Julia gets back and by the next day, they’re all ready to race.

“Do you think we’ll be able to pull it off?” Julia asks as they head to the starting line. “I mean, there’s only two of us.”

“When I fought with Sl—the Raven there was only two of us,” Hurley replies. “Don’t worry. You’ll do fine. I’ve got the front, and you’ve got the back.”

“Okay,” Julia says. She grips the handle of shotgun Hurley lent her. “Okay, yeah. Let’s do this.”

The starting bell rings.

The race begins.

 

Hurley’s an incredible racer, and they pass by the other wagons almost immediately. After a couple minutes of smooth riding, another wagon comes into view. It looks similar to their wagon, but not as well made and being driven by two people in dolphin masks who let out a strange cry as they approach.

“Oh my gosh,” Julia whispers. The wagon shoots a cannonball at them, and Hurley lurches to avoid it.

“Do something about them!” Hurley calls back. As a response, Julia shoots one of the wheels, causing the dolphin wagon to lose speed and veer to the left.

“I’m sorry,” Julia says. “They just—they look so weird!”

“I can guarantee you they aren’t the weirdest,” Hurley replies. “It’s going to get a little weird. It’s going to get a little wild. Prepare yourself!”

Another wagon comes into view. It’s a sled, driven by four short, angry looking people, all of whom wear velociraptor masks. The sled has a large pronged spear up front and Hurley drives left and right quickly, trying to prevent them from getting a hit in.

“It got weirder!” Julia yells, hanging on to the back of her wagon for dear life. Unfortunately for her, the still uneven dolphin wagon comes into view and almost immediately bangs into the velociraptor wagon, causing the spear to finally hit Hurley’s wagon, narrowly missing Julia who hears Hurley shout “FUCK!”

“Don’t worry!” Julia shouts back. “We got this!”

Julia shoots the arm of the person driving the sled, the sudden attack causing said arm to swing wildly, and drive into the dolphins. She was totally pretending she planned that.

“All good!” Julia tells Hurley, who gives her a thumbs up.

 

Despite the damage to the back of the wagon, the race goes relatively smoothly. Julia gets the change to punch a few people who land on their wagon, but all in all, the damage caused is minimal until Julia sees a large shark shaped tank-like wagon approaching quickly. Almost immediately, Julia recognized who they were.

“Shit,” Julia says as the Hammerhead gang’s tank drove closer. She could tell from the animated gestures of the men inside that they recognized her too. “This might be a tough one.”

The tank behind them looked impregnable. It was filled with rows of teeth with a large, spiny grappling hook inside. There was a cannon on each side. Julia feels appropriately intimidated.

“That’s the gal that took our core!” one of the Hammerheads yell. “Get her!”

“We don’t take kindly to thieves!” another screams. “We make sure _nobody’s_ dumb enough to cross us twice.”

“Yeah, cause we kill ‘em!”

“Yeah, thanks for the clarification buddy.”

Hurley avoids the first cannonball, but the second hits. Julia climbs forward on her wagon to avoid being hit. She can see Sloane in the distance, an almost mocking smile on her lips as she continues to slip farther and farther in front of Julia and Hurley, but never far enough to be out of reach.

“If we don’t do something, there’s not going to be any wagon left!” Hurley laughs. She doesn’t seem to worried, but then again, why should she be? Hurley had been in races before. She knew the risk, and she came back.

Everyone has different ways to have fun, apparently.

“I don’t know how well I can hit them,” Julia says. “They’ve got pretty much everything covered.”

“Then we’ll just have to outrace them,” Hurley replies with a grin.

Julia would have felt a lot more reassured by that statement if it hadn’t been followed by a cannonball breaking their wagon in half.

“You two are gonna pay for what ya took, ya hear?” a Hammerhead shouts. The tank releases its grappling hook and Julia and Hurley exchange worried looks. But before the hook can hit them, a sleek black boat cuts in to protect them, sails billowing in the breeze.

“Sloane,” Hurley whispers, her voice full of awe and love. The Hammerhead tank quickly gets tied up with vines, and raven-masked woman on the boat turns towards Hurley. For a moment, Julia worries that it’ll be like the bank again, but Sloane throws off her mask and her face is so filled with worry for Hurley Julia can’t imagine this encounter will be anything like the first.

Flowers bloom in the harsh desert sand around her and on the Hammerhead tank as she rushes to Hurley’s side.

“If you keep this up,” Hurley says. “You’re going to lose the race.”

“I don’t _care_ about this stupid race!” Sloane cries. “I care about _you!_ Fuck, I was so stupid… All I could think about was how much _good_ I could do if I was stronger. I shouldn’t have left your side. I don’t want to race if it’s not with you. And I don’t want this _stupid_ power if it makes you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Hurley reassures her. “I could never. Even if you were being really stupid.”

Sloane laughs but it quickly morphs into a choked-up sob.

“I don’t know what to do,” she admits. “This isn’t power I can just leave behind. But I can’t keep dealing with it on my own.”

“Then don’t,” Julia says. The couple stares at her. “Find a way to share it. That’s what partners do, don’t they? They take some of the good, and they take some of the bad.”

“Maybe it could work,” Hurley says softly. She takes off her mask and breaks off a horn, then hands it to Sloane. “Here’s a part of me. And I’m willing to take part of you.”

“I was told that I would gain all my power once I put on this sash,” Sloane says. She takes off an orange sash from around her waist and rips it in half. “That if I took it off, it’d always find its way back to me. But maybe… Maybe if I give some of it to you, we can share this burden together.”

“Yeah,” Hurley says. “Yeah, I think that’d be okay.”

Quietly, Sloane ties on end to Hurley’s mask, and gingerly places it on the other woman’s head. They both gasp as the broken horn quickly remakes itself out of vines and flowers. Sloane takes her piece of the horn and ties it to her half of the sash, then puts it around her own neck.

“Look,” she says. “We match.”

“Guess you’re stuck with me,” Hurley agrees.

In the background, Julia breaks down in tears. Hurley turns to her and smiles.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you,” she says. “You helped me get my happy ending. I’m getting you yours.”

Hurley takes one hand. Sloane takes the other.

“I’m going to find my husband,” Julia promises them. “And when I do, I’m going to make him build you something beautiful. You both deserve something wonderful.”

Hurley looks at Sloane and smiles.

“I already have it,” she says. “Now come on, Starfish. It’s time we find out how to get you home.”

 

A few years later, three women saddle up their horses in a small village. A man hears one of them humming and laughs.

“What kind of special place you going that’s got you in such a good mood?” he asks. The woman humming smiles.

“Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you to know, I pictured Julia's starfish mask as like, a really really pretty starfish thats just kinda conveniently been placed on her face. Also! Starfish are apparently symbolic of creative and unusual thinking, which I feel fits Julia pretty well the way I write her.   
> I think this may also be my longest chapter, too. I hope it was worth the wait!


	7. Kravitz Spends Parties Awkwardly Holding A Red Solo Cup

Kravitz doesn’t realize that anything happened until he sees Carey sliding down a staircase railing in the Castle. Once she reaches the end, she leaps into the air and does a flip, so Kravitz claps. She turns to him and grins.

“Today is _awesome_ ,” she tells him. “Guess why.”

“It’s your birthday?”

“Nope!”

“It’s Killian’s birthday?”

“Double nope!” Carey jumps onto a chair that immediately tries to throw her off. “Here’s a hint: it has to do with a Burnside.”

“Julia?” Kravitz guesses. Carey, still riding the chair, gives a noise of confirmation. “Well that was fast, wasn’t it?”

“I dunno,” Carey shrugs. “It’s been like, what? A week and a half? I guess she was just close by. Or found a short cut.”

The chair Carey was riding throws her off, but Carey lands on her feet and throws her hands in the air dramatically. Kravitz chooses not to comment on it.

“I assumed I would have known if she was so close,” Kravitz admits. “Magnus asked me to help him talk to her a couple of times. I can’t believe I didn’t hear one of them mention something.”

“It’s cool,” Carey tells him. “Now you know, so you can come to town and meet her yourself. Where’s Taako?”

Hearing his name, Taako peaks his head out from a doorway.

“What the fuck?” he asks.

“Julia found Magnus,” Kravitz tells him.

“Yeah, so I’m here to drag you two fools to town!” Carey adds.

“You can go without me,” Taako says. “All it is is gonna be a much of mushy romance shit and I’m not about that.”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t have to,” Kravitz replies. “I’ll tell Magnus you’re happy for him.”

“Don’t bother,” Taako snorts, going back to whatever he was doing. “He knows me to well to believe that.”

“Well, okay,” Carey says. “We’ll be at the Inn. Ren wants to meet you, though. Don’t remember why.”

“She said she knew someone named Taako from her home world,” Kravitz reminds her. “Who had a cooking show? She said she admired him.”

Before Kravitz can say anything else, Taako lets out a loud scream that lasts far too long and runs up a set of stairs. Carey and Kravitz stare at each other for a moment.

“I didn’t think it was him,” Kravitz admits. “Taako doesn’t like to cook. Do you think we should go get him…?”

“NO, YOU GUYS HAVE FUN WITHOUT ME!” Taako calls from the top of the stairs.

“ARE YOU SURE?” Kravitz calls back. “I’M NOT THE BEST AT PICKING UP NONVERBAL CUES. I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE BITTER.”

“NO, IT’S COOL! JUST TELL MAGNUS I’M DOING SOMETHING AWESOME!”

“ALRIGHT, I WILL. DO YOU WANT ANYTHING FROM TOWN?”

“NAH MAN, HAVE FUN.”

Carey raises an eyebrow at this exchange, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, she tells Kravitz to hurry up.

 

Kravitz’s first impression of Julia is that she’s strong enough to have carried her horse into town. His second impression is that she’s the kind of woman that cries at weddings, at birthdays, and if a cute dog looks her way. When Kravitz and Carey finally made their way back to Ren’s inn, Julia was crying and hugging everyone in her reach. Magnus, of course, was doing the exact same thing.

There were two women Kravitz didn’t recognize who he assumed were Julia’s traveling companions. Both women had a beautifully designed horn on one side of their heads with an orange bow tied to it. They hung back, watching everyone crowd around Julia. Kravitz wondered if anyone bothered talking to them.

“Hey everybody!” Carey calls. “I got Kravitz!”

Julia immediately stops what she’s doing and runs over to Kravitz, grabbing his hands.

“Thank you for helping me find Magnus,” she says earnestly. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“That may be a bit of an exaggeration,” Kravitz tells her, uncomfortable with the praise. “But I’m happy to have helped, nevertheless.”

“You played an important part in all of this,” Julia insists. “Of course I’m going to want to thank you for that.”

“Hey, enough about how cool Kravitz is,” Carey says, elbowing Julia gently. “Magnus said he’d pay for all of us to get lunch, and I’m _not_ going to let him back outta that.”

“Of course,” Julia agrees with a laugh. “Just, well, you did have a roommate, didn’t you? I thought Carey was getting you both.”

“He didn’t want to come,” Kravitz replies, wracking his brain for an acceptable excuse. “He’s, um, fighting a chair.”

“Well,” Julia says. “Okay.”

“He’s very happy for you, though,” Kravitz adds, mentally cringing at his previous sentence, but at least worked. Julia’s clearly too shocked to ask many questions. “I’m going to go speak to Ren for a moment, if that’s alright with you?”

Julia nods and Kravitz makes his way to the other side of the room. June notices him before Ren does and nudges her softly. Ren turns and gives Kravitz a big smile and an even bigger wave.

“Hey! Glad to see you made it!” she says. “Want anything to drink?”

“I’m alright, thank you,” Kravitz replies. “I just wanted to say that I think the Taako you met in your world may be the one in ours, but when I brought up cooking, he screamed.”

“Well, there’s a pity,” Ren sighs. “He was one real good cook. I only got to go to one of his shows, but I thought it was _magical_. I can’t think of anyone who could get a crowd going like he could. And it was always so _fun._ He’d let people shout out some kind of cooking challenge for him—like cooking with one hand, or using the wrong thing as a pan or a mixer—and sometimes he’d just spin a wheel if he didn’t think we thought of anything wild enough. And if everything turned out okay, he’d give whatever he made to the audience, or donate it to someone who needed it.”

June hands Ren a cup and she immediately starts cleaning it before continuing her story.

“I don’t know why I think it’s so sad,” she admits. “I mean, like I said, I only met him once. I don’t know why he started cooking, or even what happened to his show. But when I saw him live, I just _had_ to sneak backstage to meet him in person. His manager was _ticked_ , but Taako thought it was the funniest thing ever. A little girl got through security! Just like that! So he let me into his dressing room and asked me if I wanted him to do my make-up. Then he told me anything I did, I was going to do it wonderfully. And a week later, I was here.”

Ren finishes cleaning her cup and puts it away, grabbing a wine bottle for June to pour someone a drink.

“I thought about that a lot. I was just fourteen years old, and I didn’t have anything. But Taako believed in me, so maybe I could do okay,” Ren gives a small laugh. “Sorry to dump this all on you. I wanted to tell him this, but I don’t know how it’ll make him feel. Heck, I don’t even know if he _remembers_ me.”

“I’m sure he does,” Kravitz says, because there was nothing else he could say. “Taako’s kinder then he wants people to believe. I could tell him about this, if you want.”

“It’s your choice,” Ren replies after a few moments of hesitation. “I just wanted to say it, you know? Now come on! Go mingle!”

Ren shoos Kravitz away, so he wanders around awkwardly until he’s standing right in front of Merle.

“I’m sorry I called you a gardener," Kravits says, preparing to run off.

“Hey, wait for a second, willya?” Merle looks almost pained. “I don’t say this to just anyone, but I… well, you did good. I never thought Magnus’d live to see his wife again.”

“Most of it was her doing, but thank you,” Kravitz replies.

The two stand in silence for a bit. Kravitz doesn’t really know Merle, so he doesn’t really know what else to say to him.

“You can go now, kid.”

“Thank you.”

 

Kravitz talks to a few more people after that, but he doesn’t see the point in staying too long. The Burnsides being happy seems like a pretty big deal to the town but Kravitz, who’d only known Magnus for about a month, couldn’t really bring himself to muster up the energy to pretend he felt anything more than a vague sense of pride. He spends a couple minutes talking to Avi, who seemed to have mixed feelings on everything, and spent just enough time with Angus to learn that the boy was living with Avi and that Angus seemed to think that made Avi his responsibility.

He also meets Noelle, the not-dead friend of Carey and Killian. Apparently, she was a clockwork automaton that possessed a human spirit. Kravitz was a bit fuzzy on the details, so he filed it away as “fucking necromancy” and decides that’s enough of learning about people for the day.

However, before Kravitz can leave the Inn, he’s approached by the owners of the Knitting/Weapons/Appliance store. The woman who was knitting her own dress the first time he met her was wearing a new, also knitted dress. The other woman wears all black and shroud of mystery.

“You know,” she says. “locating magic isn’t always the most difficult, at least not when the person you’re looking for is looking for you as well. But it can be a sign of untapped magical potential. Very strong untapped potential.”

“Thank you for telling me this,” Kravitz says politely. Then he pushes her out of his way and leaves. He has no doubt that she has a whole monologue prepared for him but quite frankly, he doesn’t care. Kravitz is prepared to go home, but he sees one of Julia’s friends hanging around outside. She turns to him and he sees that her irises are shaped like flowers. There’s absolutely nothing he can say about this that isn’t him gaping and pointing at her eyes, so he says nothing.

“Leaving so soon?” she asks as she finishes braiding a flower into her long dark hair.

“I don’t know anyone in this town,” Kravitz admits. “I’m sure you can relate.”

“Sure can,” the woman agrees. She sticks out a hand. “I’m Sloane. You’re Kravitz, right?”

“That I am,” Kravitz replies. He shakes her hand. Something about it reminds him of moss. The texture, maybe. “Are you planning on staying in town?”

“I’m not sure,” Sloane admits. “A curse I was put under had some… lasting effects that we’ve been trying to deal with. We’ve gotten good at managing, but not at curing. If Hurley wants to leave, I will too, but we’ve only been here for a day.”

“I don’t think it’s wrong of you if you want to stay,” Kravitz tells her. “I may not know this town very well, but I do know almost everyone in it has dealt with some kind of curse. I’m sure not all of them have found a way to break it. I don’t think they need to.”

“Living cursed isn’t so bad,” Sloane agrees. “At least not for me. I mean, I have Hurley, and that helps more than you can imagine. I _feel_ like I should work on being less cursed, though.”

“The Castle has books about everything,” Kravitz tells her. “I’m sure I could find something to help you.”

As Sloane considers this, the grass around her grows and a flower blooms. Sloane looks down at her feet and smiles at this.

“No,” she says. “I think I’m good. I didn’t expect my journey to end like this, but that’s okay. Have a nice afternoon, Kravitz.”

“Have a nice afternoon, Sloane.”

 

When Kravitz gets back to the Castle, he can smell something cooking and peeks his head into the kitchen. He arrives just in time to see Taako hurl a clearly recently cooked dish out the window, pan and all. Taako notices Kravitz staring and growls.

“If you say anything,” Taako warns. “You’re next.”

“That’s fair,” Kravitz agrees, wondering if pans were on the list of things the castle could easily create or if he’d have to buy a new one.

Either way, Merle was probably going to be pissed about the pan in the garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much happens in this chapter, but Kravitz talks to Ren, so that's pretty fun!  
> Thank you everyone for all your kind comments! I love them all, and you're all wonderful!


	8. Libraries Are Actually For Singing Your Heart Out

It’s not as though Taako planned on like, immediately start cooking again just because Kravitz told him some chick thought he was cool. Honestly that made him want to cook _less._ But once he gets into the kitchen and starts staring at some broccoli he realizes he’s getting a little tired of not being okay.

The thing is, moping around a castle fucking _sucks._

It’s absolutely no different than moping around your room, eating instant ramen and binging horrible shows aside from the fact that the atmosphere made it feel slightly more satisfying.

It was also slightly more boring, seeing as he was stuck in a world without wifi. (Scary, right? How was his poor little millennial heart supposed to cope?)

But the thing is, even though he stares at that broccoli for at least a fucking hour, he still tries to cook it.

He does okay, for a while. The food smells good and stomach starts to growl, but that doesn’t stop him from chucking it out a fucking window, pan and all. (So long, fucker!)

The food had smelled good back then, too.

Kravitz had taken the whole thing in stride, at least. Kravitz was cool like that.

Okay, Kravitz wasn’t actually cool. He was a dork. And Taako was like, at least sixty percent sure he was faking his accent to sound sophisticated.

“So,” Taako says. “How’d everything go?”

“Julia hugged a lot of people. Magnus cried a lot. I spent a lot of time standing around awkwardly,” Kravitz replies with a shrug. “You didn’t miss much, but I did talk to Ren. If you’re the Taako she thinks you are, you’ve really impressed her.”

“I sure as fuck hope so,” Taako tells him. “I’m pretty spectacular if I do say so myself. It’s nice to know _someone_ appreciates that, even if I don’t know who the fuck they are.”

Taako remembers Ren pretty well, actually. He remembers the tiny girl with the stubbornest expression he’d ever seen on someone her age. He remembers thinking that she had ears that she would grow into, if she was lucky. (Or ears that’d grow out of _her,_ if she was unlucky, like him.) He remembers his manager (fuck him) scowling, and saying that Taako didn’t have time for just anybody. Taako remembers telling him that Ren wasn’t just anybody, and her face lit up like it was the fucking fourth of July. Her happiness was loud, shimmering, and vibrant and she quickly informed Taako that she was Mexican too, and that he was her favorite show host ever. Taako pretty much _had_ to give her something after that, so he did her make up.

His manager (fuck him) didn’t like that too much, either. There was something they were supposed to go over, probably. Taako was always getting badgered about something.

At least the benefit of being a fucking _terrifying_ monster is that no one was going to make you do anything. (That was also, strangely enough, was the benefit of being a traumatized jobless twenty-six-year-old who lived alone.)

Taako remembers asking Ren how old she was and he remembers her giving a very enthusiastic: “fourteen!” so he tells her it’s okay to hate high school or wherever the fuck she was because that’s exactly what he wanted to hear at fourteen so he figured he might as well tell her.

He remembers giving her purple eyeshadow. He remembers taking a picture with her.

He doesn’t say any of this to Kravitz, though.

What did he care about an old fan, anyways? He talked with her because he thought it’d be fun. And Ren was a pretty sweet kid. He didn’t need to go marching down to town and tell her he appreciated his number one fan or some shit.

Honestly, she should probably stop thinking about him. He was nothing now.

(And better a former fan than a dead one.)

Kravitz doesn’t pry. He’s cool like that.

 So Taako goes back to doing his own thing.

 

Taako spends most of his day either in the library or sleeping. Taako’s general thoughts about books are that if he doesn’t have to read it, no one’s going to convince him otherwise, but he’s got to spend his time _somehow,_ doesn’t he?

Besides, the books on magic are pretty interesting. He thinks he’d do alright at transmutation, if he had someone to teach him. Then again, he’d been pretty much self-taught in everything, even things that should have been covered by school teachers. Why should magic be any different?

Kravitz opens the door and stares at the pile of books next to Taako.

“I’m building a tower,” Taako informs him, sticking out his tongue like a dog. Smiling generally proved to be inefficient as a way of showing you weren’t up to anything when you had rows of sharp teeth.

“I was just here to see if there was any sheet music,” Kravitz says. “I thought you said you weren’t a ‘nerd.’”

“I only read stuff for the pictures,” Taako replies. It was true, most of the time. But sometimes he read because he wanted something out of the world. Magic seemed like a pretty good way to get something you want.

“Technically, I do too,” Kravitz says. “Only they’re very specific pictures, shaped like dots and dashes. And they’re called music notes.”

Taako snorts. It’s a bad joke, but Taako never claimed to have a refined sense of humor.

“Well, you’re gonna find those pictures thattaway,” Taako points towards one of the bookshelves. Kravitz thanks him and goes looking around.

“So,” Taako says, sprawling himself out on a sofa. “You a big fan of musicals or some shit?”

“Well, I always did want to be a conductor,” Kravitz tells him, piling up books of sheet music in one of his hands. “I don’t know how likely that’ll turn out to be, but I still know how to play music. I figure I may as well practice.”

“Hey, you don’t know that,” Taako says, feeling slightly hypocritical. “The future can bring all sorts of shit, even a band for you to conduct.”

“That’s a nice thought, Taako,” Kravitz says. “But I’m twenty-seven and my entire experience can be summed up as ‘I not only know what a tuba is, but I can play it as well!’”

“Hey,” Taako tells him. “You’re doing _eons_ better than me, my guy. I don’t know what this ‘tru bone’ thing is you’re talking about!”

Kravitz laughs.

“Also, holy shit. You’re like, a year older than me. I didn’t know I was in the presence of a responsible adult.”

“Oh yes,” Kravitz snorts. “Responsible. Yes, that is definitely what you call a man who leaves home on a whim to go live with a famed beast.”

“Hey, there’s no need to call yourself out like that.”

“Of course there is,” Kravitz takes his books and goes to sit in a chair near Taako. “First you’ll be calling me responsible, next you’ll be asking me to do your taxes! I’m a musician, not a mathematician!”

Taako laughs, and Kravitz joins in. It was strange to think he never noticed how nice Kravitz’s laugh was before.

“I don’t know,” Taako jokes. “You seem pretty multi-talented!”

“Don’t start!” Kravitz scolds. They burst into laughter again, and Taako can’t help but notice how Kravitz seems to be inching closer, almost as if…

Oh.

It’s the chair.

(Because why would it be _Kravitz?_ )

Kravitz’s chair keeps inching closer until in throws him off, expecting him to land in the arms, or near the mouth of Taako, but Taako’s prepared for that fake romantic shit. Kravitz starts falling, so Taako jumps off the sofa, just as Kravitz tumbles into it.

“That chair pushed you,” Taako says, unsure if there’s an explanation that doesn’t make him look like a jerk. “What a fucking dick.”

“Probably wanted me to fall into you and connect into some very romantic kiss,” Kravitz standing up slowly and rubs his stomach. Poor dude bellyflopped.  “I’d rather not have my romantic moments be manufactured by a piece of furniture.”

“Can’t imagine you wanna kiss a mouth like mine either,” Taako says. “I mean, that’s a weird as fuck thing to admit, yeah?”

“I don’t want to build myself a reputation of kissing monsters,” Kravitz agrees, straightening himself out. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t kiss one.”

“You’re gonna mess up your face,” Taako tells him. Instead of answering, Kravitz climbs up on top of the sofa and stares at Taako with determination. Kravitz isn’t a small guy, but Taako’s a bit too tall for almost any human to reach without assistance. With a sigh, Taako shambles closer and raises an eyebrow.

“So, what are you gonna…,” Taako trails off as Kravitz kisses him on the nose, looking very pleased for doing so. It’s fucking adorable. Fuck. He scoops Kravits up in his arms and starts nosing Kravitz’s neck.

“What are you doing?” Kravitz asks, giggling.

“What don’t you know what necking is?” Taako replies with a scoff.

“ _Taako_!” Kravitz protests.

“ _Kra—_ Hey, did your accent just change?” Taako asks. Kravitz stiffens.

“Nooo…,” he lies, very obviously talking in a different accent.

“You did!” Taako insists, pleased at the thought. “Shit, I can’t believe that’s not your real voice.”

“How do you know that?” Kravitz asks, immediately adopting an accent that made him sound like some sort of discount dracula. “Maybe I vreally talk like vis!”

“Why?” Taako cries out, already laughing.

“I use vis accent to lure in my prey! Are you allured yet, Taako?”

Taako wheezes.

“I do it to sound more professional,” Kravitz admits. “And, well, I think I’m better at sounding more masculine that way.”

“You don’t gotta worry about that shit,” Taako reassures Kravitz, putting him down. “I know I don’t. Your voice is fucking awesome, by the way. Hot as hell. Ten outta ten.”

“Thank you,” Kravitz says with a small smile. “’Hot as hell’ was actually exactly what I was going for.”

“I’m a _master_ of compliments, babe.”

The look they share fills Taako with so much warmth that he’s surprised he doesn’t melt back into a human on the spot.

Suddenly, Taako’s filled with horror. It strikes him suddenly that not only does he _like_ Kravitz, but he _trusts_ him too.

(He trusted Sazed once, too.)

Kravitz looks up at Taako, confusion clear in his beautiful brown eyes.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

“Nah,” Taako says with a laugh. He can tell he’s not fooling anyone. “C’mon compadre, lemme hear some of that sweet sweet music you picked up. Or, shit! Even better: write a song for me.”

Kravitz snorts and hands Taako his music.

“What kind of song would it be?” he asks and starts tapping on a nearby bookshelf for some rhythm. “ _There is someone I adore/though he appears like a creature of lore/Taako, a beast of mystery/he’ll be sure to go down in history!”_

“Hey, c’mon, I’m worth _way_ more compliments then that!”

“Wow!!! It’s Taako!! He’s the greatest! Wow!!! This world is lucky to have him!!!”

“Damn right!” Taako poses, trying to look impressive. He fails miserably. “Okay, my turn!”

“Oh, can you sing, then?”

“Sure can!” Taako grins, then begins shouting, loudly and offkey. “KRAvitZ! HOW cooOOOL!! FOr a DORk thAT THINKs livING IN a caStle’s FUN!!! Also HE’S HOT!!”

“that’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard,” Kravitz tells him, very seriously. “I will remember it fondly forever.”

“You fucking better,” Taako replies. “Shit my man, you got a nice voice. Why didn’t I know that?”

“Neither of us have really talked too much about ourselves,” Kravitz shrugs. “I don’t think I really know anything about you, honestly.”

“You know more about me than anyone else in the fucking world.”

“I think what you know of me is about how much I know of you,” Kravitz says. “Strangely, there are plenty people who know more.”

“I dunno what you want from me,” Taako says. “A little’s a lot more than nothing.”

“You don’t have to tell me about yourself if you really don’t want to…”

“No, no, shit. I actually do,” Taako winces. It’s a new feeling for him. “I just… a lot’s happened to me, my dude. And it’s not a bunch of fun shit either.”

“Well, there’s no reason we have to do things the normal way,” Kravitz responds. “If you want, we can go to the music room and sing about our past. At least that way you won’t have to ‘say’ anything.”

“What is this, a cartoon about living space rocks?” Taako snorts. “Nah, we should do ‘Never Have I Ever.’ You drink every time you’ve done something the other person has. Course, with my history, I’ll probably just say something like ‘the last time someone cared about me I was twelve,’ and you’d just wanna chug the whole bottle.”

“If you said that,” Kravitz tells him. “I’d probably tell you that I’ve never really thought my father cared for me.”

“What?” Taako asks. “You trying to one up me? Do I have to tell you how I got tossed around from house to house cause no one wanted to put up with me as a kid?”

“Maybe I _am_ trying to one up you,” Kravitz replies. “Maybe I should tell you how I don’t truly believe I could become a musician, despite mastering countless instruments, and the fact that it’s always been a goal of mine.”

“Oh yeah? Well, a good portion of my life has been just me doing what I had to, so I don’t really got too many life goals like that!”

“It doesn’t matter that I have a ‘goal’ when the majority of people in my life have been insisting I shouldn’t follow it.”

“I had one thing I really liked to do, and I don’t think I can ever do it again.”

 “I don’t think I’ve ever felt truly alive.”

“Well, shit, _that’s_ depressing. Do you want to hear why I’m here, huh? I was a chief. A really freaking good one. A-and something fucked up. I don’t, don’t know what it was for sure but everyone who ate even a bite of what I served… They all died. And this guy, this _fucking_ dude who I had as a manager. I thought he’d stick around and help sort shit out cause that’s like, his job you know? But he just. He fucking vanishes. The _moment_ things go south. And I’m left to deal with this shit all on my own.”

Taako takes a deep breath. He hadn’t expected to say that much, but now that it was out, and that he had _finally_ told someone what happened a sense of relief washes over him.

He doesn’t tell Kravitz about how sometimes he dreams of meeting up with Sazed (fuck him). How he dreams of towering over him in his terrifying beast body and scaring the fucking _daylights_ out of him with a growl, or even just a small gesture with his paws.

Taako doesn’t care if he regrets what he did. He just wants him to feel even a _fraction_ of Taako’s fear when he stood up on that stage and realized that people were going to _die_ and there was _nothing he could do about it._

“I did something fucking atrocious, so now I look like the fucking monster I am.”

Kravitz stares at him, an unfamiliar expression on his face. Part of Taako expects Kravitz to leave, but a larger part of him mentally berates himself for thinking that. Kravitz was… Kravitz is a good guy. Taako wouldn’t have told him everything if he hadn’t thought so.

“I don’t think you’re a monster,” Kravitz says. “I think you’re wonderful.”

Taako scoffs. Of course he doesn’t believe it. Who says that when someone tells them they’re responsible for the deaths of countless people? He opens his mouth to argue, but Kravitz cuts him off and looks at him with the most sincere expression Taako had ever seen.

“Taako, I think I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update!! I was sick for like, the entire week? Maybe longer. Anyways, I hope this lives up to your expectations!!  
> btw, i had planned the scene where Kravitz falls over instead of kissing taako planned from like, the beginning. I wrote a note to myself about it, and I'm going to leave what i wrote down here b/c i think I'm extremely funny.  
> "At one point the furnature tries to make taako bump into krav for some Kissies but kravitz is not about romantic moments orquestrated by someone else and fucking olleys right out of that situation, leaving taako to fall, gracefully, to the floor"


	9. It's Not Romance If You Don't Steal From An Ancient Castle With Him

Taako’s response is immediate. He responds to affection like a mouse cornered by a cat—his body freezes, his eyes grow ten sizes just to stare at Kravitz and his mouth opens, as if he’s got something to say but no way to say it.

Finally, Taako collects himself, processing what Kravitz says enough to finally speak.

“Why?” he asks. “I-I mean, I know I’m great, but why do you?”

“It’s just... everything,” Kravitz replies. “You always sound like you know so much about magic. It’s incredible. And you’re nice, which I _know_ isn’t something you’d ever say about yourself but it’s _true_ —you’re good to Angus, even if you tease him a bit too much. And Ren’s only met you once, but she thinks the world of you! And I feel like I may regret saying this, but I think you’re funny.”

“Well, someone was bound to, eventually,” Taako says with a small smile. “You know, statistically.”

“Well I mean,” Kravitz says. “I can only understand half of your jokes anyways. So I’m sure you’re _doubly_ hilarious in your world.”

“Shit yeah, that’s canon now,” Taako agrees, then bites his lip. “But do you really like, like me? Like, you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Kravitz confirms.

“And you wanna like, date me?”

“That would be nice, yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes really,” Kravitz says. “Do you not want to?”

“I do!” Taako insists quickly. “Fuck, I do. I just got so much baggage that I haven’t even fucking _begun_ to unpack so forgive me if I’m having a hard time believing you’re just like, cool with all of that.”

“I’m not going to hold what happened to you against you,” Kravitz reassures him. “I’m not awful.”

“Fuck, you’re the _opposite_ of awful, babe,” Taako says. “You’re the greatest. You say _I’m_ funny, but your sense of humor isn’t too bad yourself. You look _amazing_ and I like. I dunno, admire that impulsive shit you got going on. I mean, who decides to just come meet a monster for kicks? Fucking Kravitz, that’s who! And you, uh. It’s really nice to, I dunno. Have you around? I guess.”

Kravitz smiles. It seemed like Taako had used up all his sincerity for the day trying to compliment him.

“That’s all I want to do,” Kravitz says, grabbing Taako’s paws earnestly. “I want to spend time with you.”

“That…,” Taako swallows. “That’d be nice.”

Slowly, Kravitz feels the furry claws in his hands change into something smaller. He can see awareness dawning on Taako’s face as it gets less and less hairy until Kravitz is staring at a short man with dark skin and a shocked face.

“Holy shit,” Taako says. He gives a nervous laugh. “Sorry dude. You’re out here giving speeches about how cool I am, and I’m some loser in his pjs. Guess I should be lucky I got turned back in the shit I was wearing. I could’ve just been here, tits out, while you stared like a mother fucking owl.”

“I _wouldn’t,”_ Kravitz protests, despite knowing that that was exactly what he was doing now. He couldn’t help it; it was the first time he had seen Taako’s true form and he wanted to take it all in. “I’d simply _appreciate_ your tits. Nothing owlish about it.”

Despite his small size, it feels like there’s so much about everything about him. He has one of the longest noses Kravitz had ever seen and it felt as though anything smaller would be an insult to his face. His long brown hair cascades down his shoulders and extends outwards, almost matching Kravitz’s own hair in curls, if he had worn it down. His legs are long and gangly in a way that asks if he’s ever played a sport but his arms are thin in a way that gives a firm “hell no” for an answer.

“I can see you stare, my dude,” Taako snorts. He strikes a pose. “So? What do you think?”

“I didn’t know you had earrings,” Kravitz says, then winces. There were so many chances for him to compliment Taako, and he missed every single one of them. It was practically a national tragedy. Taako didn’t seem to mind, though. Instead he lets his left hand wander over to the silver around one of his ears.

“I guess my fur kinda hid all of them,” he says thoughtfully. “Shit, my fur fucked up my look good. Couldn’t wear any of my kickass make-up either, or do my nails. _Fuck,_ I can do _anything_ now.”

“I’m glad to see you so enthusiastic.”

“Yeah dude, my depression’s like… cured.”

Both Kravitz and Taako snort.

“I imagine being human does open many doors,” Kravitz agrees.

“Yeah, it’s the opposable thumbs,” Taako grins, giving a thumbs up on both hands. Kravitz laughs.

As they continue to joke around, a woman wielding two knitting needles enters the room, her long flowing hair glistening with light. Kravitz squints through the brightness and sees Taako tense up.

“What the fuck do you want?” he spits. “Here to turn me into another hideous beast?”

“You’re Istus?” Kravitz interrupts, feeling as though he should be less suprised. “But you’re the woman from the store!”

“Are you fucking telling me that the _witch_ who cursed me was just chilling in town and _no one told me_?” Taako asks.

“To be fair,” Istus says. “You would have found out, had you walked outside.”

“That’s more your fault then his,” Kravitz replies coolly.

“Yeah, you think I _want_ to go out and meet strangers in a body that ain’t my own?” Taako demands. “I mean, sure the claws are cool, but at what fucking cost, huh? You can’t make friends when everyone’s too busy worrying about getting eaten!”

“The people of this town aren’t like that,” Istus protests.

“And how do I know that?” Taako asks. “I’ve barely even fucking lived here!”

“Well, if it’s so terrible, I can send you home,” Istus frowns. “Kravitz too, if he wants to leave. You’re in no danger of being jailed, or anything like that. Sazed was the one who poisoned everyone, after all.”

“Fuck,” Taako says softly, all his anger melting away. “He did?”

“I thought you knew,” Istus frowns. “It’s been a long time since you’ve been a leading suspect—he was the only one with anything to gain from it, especially if you had eaten too.”

“I mean, I _thought_ ,” Taako’s voice cracks and Kravitz’s heart almost bursts at the expression on his face. “I thought he _might_ have but I didn’t like, _know,_ you know?”

“I’m sorry you had to find out so late,” Istus says. Kravitz wants to scream. For her part, she seems genuinely upset about it, but Kravitz can’t help but think that Taako wouldn’t have had to worry about that had he stayed in his home world. “If it helps, he’s in prison. He can’t harm you. Or anyone else.”

“Hey, I’m not spending two hot seconds on that fucker,” Taako laughs. “Finally, you’re giving me good news! You’re telling me I’m blameless and perfect, as per usual! That’s great.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Istus says. “Does that mean you want to return?”

“What do you think, babe?” Taako asks Kravitz. “Any special reasons I should stay?”

“Angus will miss you terribly, for one thing,” Kravitz replies. “The choice is yours, Taako. I don’t know what you have in the other world for you, all I can say is if you think something is worth staying for, you should stay for it.”

“Well,” Taako mumbles. “ _You’re_ here.”

“I’m happy with you,” Kravitz replies with a smile. “I’ve met some nice people here, yes, but I’m sure I could meet more. Though Julia might get upset that she hasn’t properly thanked me yet.”

“Well, shit,” Taako says. “I don’t know how many people’ll miss me if I stay. I mean, I’m sure I’ve got _thousands_ of fans still, but I’d have to deal with the fucking _paparazzi_ and all of that other shit.”

“You’ll have people who like you here, too,” Kravitz points out. “You have Magnus and Merle. Ren would love to meet you, too, as you know. And I’m sure Carey and Killian would love to see you again. And there’s Julia’s friends—they’ve got a very interesting type of magic. I think you’d like to see it, firsthand.”

“So, you’re saying I should stay,” Taako says.

“I’m saying it’s fine if you do,” Kravitz tells him. “There’s not much I need out of life, I think. I want to be able to play music. I want to stay with you. And I want you to be happy, too. We can do that anywhere.”

“Might as well do it here,” Taako says with a nonchalant shrug. “I think I’m happier here, anyways, but maybe that’s just because I met you.”

Kravitz smiles, then turns to Istus.

“Does this mean we have to leave?” he asks. “Because I would like to keep some of the suits.”

Taako cackles.

“Fuck yeah,” he says. “Let’s rob this place blind!”

“Please don’t,” Istus sighs. “You do have to leave eventually, but you can take what you want. Just don’t take everything.”

“Sure, sure,” Taako agrees, clearly not planning on listening. “So what the fuck was the deal with all this, huh? I start getting used to living here so you gotta throw a fucking swerve ball at my face and turn me back?”

“That’s not what I was doing,” Istus insists. “I wanted to give you a new perspective. I thought it’d help. You changed back because you realized it was time to move forward.”

With that, she sticks one of her needles into her hair and disappears.

“What a fucking show off,” Taako says, as if he wouldn’t do the exact same thing if he could.

“If it’s any consolation,” Kravitz says. “I do know where she works. So if you wanted to vandalize it, well, just leave me out of it.”

“Fuck,” Taako says with a grin. “You’re more of a chaotic neutral then I thought.”

“I want you to know, I generally disapprove of things like that,” Kravitz adds. “But I also disapprove of someone essentially kidnapping from their home and placing them somewhere they have no way of getting back from.”

“It’s nice to know you have my back,” Taako says, trying to keep his tone casual.

“Always,” Kravitz tells him. “But I’d prefer not to be an accessory to a crime.”

Taako snorts.

“So,” Kravitz says. “Now what?”

“Personally, I’m thinking we find some kinda bag of holding and just y’know,” Taako gestures vaguely. “Shove as much shit as we can into that bad boy. Then we’re going into town to show everyone what they missed when they couldn’t see this smokin’ human bod I got. And meet Ren or like, whatever.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Taako agrees. He seems almost surprised by this fact.

“Race you to the stairs?”

“Fuck no, we’re adults—I’m racing you to the _elevator_.”

Kravitz and Taako turn to each other and grin before Kravitz breaks into a sprint.

 

And where he goes, Taako follows.

 

(They don’t actually rob the castle blind, but they make a good enough attempt that Istus gives them a dirty look the next time she sees them.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this ending seems sudden! I feel like this could have gone on longer, but it's too late to really change that?  
> In any case, thanks for sticking with me! I've made it to 20k words, and that's more then I thought I'd ever do! I want to write an epilogue for this too, but I've got two (2) days left of break so I feel like I'm either going to take a week or a couple of days.  
> Feel free to bother me at ofdreamsanddoodles on tumblr if it takes too much longer then that!


	10. An Epilogue's Not An Epilogue If It Has No Magic Umbrellas

Kravitz watches Carey soar through the air above him with more ire then awe before rushing after her. He could hear her cackling above him and frowned. They were really taking this too seriously.

Kravitz hasn’t played a game like this in a very long time which, according to Taako, means he’s a stuck up fancy pants who needs to learn how to let loose. Generally, Kravitz doesn’t consider playing hide and seek “letting loose,” but Taako does have a point. And it’s not as if they had decided to play for no reason. While he didn’t necessarily trust her, Istus’s business partner—who he now knew went by the name the Raven Queen, which he very generously decided not to comment on—was right about one thing.

Kravitz was magic.

And if he had a talent, he wanted to use it. If he could help Magnus and Julia, surely he could help more. Not everyone had the same story as Magnus, of course, but not everyone had the same type of family curse as Angus. There was bound to be someone he could help, and Kravitz wanted to ensure he knew exactly how to do what he needed to.

Which lead him to this. For some reason, it seemed shockingly clear to Kravitz that the best way to hone his apparent magical location skills was to play Hide and Seek.

Kravitz spots Angus first, but he decides not to bother him right away. The kid was hidden pretty well, and Kravitz didn’t want to make him feel otherwise just because Kravitz scryed him first.

And that was how he ended up chasing Carey. Carey was always an interesting person to try and find because she was under the impression that him finding her didn’t count as long as he didn’t catch her afterwards.

As Kravitz runs, he sees her glide through the air and into another tree, messing up the landing and crashing to the ground.

“Found you,” Kravitz says, leaning over to her.

“I miss my wings,” Carey sighs. “Parkour’s nothing compared to being a freaking dragon.”

“Killian must be very sorry she broke you curse.”

Kravitz starts to climb the tree Carey feel out of, partially to establish dominance, and partially to go find Taako.

It’s always very simple to find Taako. All Kravitz has to do is think of what kind of way a wizard could cheat at the game, and chances were Taako was doing it.

While Kravitz had an innate magical ability, Taako had a very impressive learned one. According to him, any item exposed to constant magic for long enough could become a conduit for magic and decided to take an umbrella from the Castle to test out his theory. To the surprise of almost everyone, he was right. Personally, Kravitz thought that if anyone was going to make a wand out of an umbrella, it was Taako.

And sure enough, there he was.

“Well,” Taako says, reclining dramatically as he floats above the trees. “You found me.”

“I did,” Kravitz agrees, pulling Taako closer. With a smirk, Taako reaches for Kravitz’s face and quickly places his open mouth onto Kravitz’s.

Kissing Taako feels like warm blankets on a cold day and company in the rain. It feels like being kissed with the passion of a storm. And he loves it and loves him and he loves him and he—

Kravitz slips off the branch he had been standing on and plummets swiftly. Taako catches him before he reaches the ground and before anything can be said, Taako’s spell wears off and the two fall. Kilian and Angus rush out to meet them.

“Are you two okay?” Killian asks.

“They were _kissing_ ,” Carey informs her, as if she wouldn’t have done the exact same thing.

“Did you two hurt yourself?” Angus asks, biting his lip. Kravitz smiles at him from underneath Taako.

“Don’t worry,” Kravitz tells him. “Everything is fine.”

And it’s true. He’s doing great.

He has Taako. Lovely, magical, Taako who still hasn’t gotten the hang of the whole time limits on spells thing. He has _friends._ When he falls, there are people who will catch him. When they fall, there are people he would catch.

Taako adjusts his hat and let Killian and Carey help the two of them up.

Everything is more than fine.

He’s happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted one last chapter to show you guys everyone's doing well!  
> I hope you're all doing well, too

**Author's Note:**

> I've actually written over 4k of this but i also need validation and there's no breaks on this fic train so im turning it into a multi chaptered fic. chapter 2 should be soon. it should also have magnus!  
> I wrote this semi inspired by a short story i read called Beauty and the Chad. Some of this, like the story kravitz's dad tells at the beginning and the princes getting cursed, comes from that. I really liked that short story because it was kind of funny and it was basically just two kids chilling instead of like, being forced to stay together, and also the beast was kind of ridiculous. Mine will no doubt be better, b/c know that i look back on it, a lot of humor had to do with the beast's internalized homophobia and i am far too good of a gay and far too good of a writer to do that.  
> I also put a lot of thought into it, and Kravitz has no obligation to stay for several reasons, which means this isnt really a "im trapped in a monster's castle with no way out" story:  
> 1\. He's an adult and not some kind of thing to be pawned off? and since he's over 18, nothing his dad says about him should be legally binding  
> 2\. His dad was under the pretense he did not have a son, so the fact that he ACTUALLY has a son shouldn't really matter b/c its not a kid he knows about, and also because he's like? trying to bend the rules? so he should b penalized for that and then kravitz doesnt really play into that tho maybe thats faulty logic  
> 3\. when his dad describes a "son" he's thinking of something that kravitz is not. this is why u have all those translations in legal documents so you know what exactly ppl mean when they say words. Essentially, to his dad, a "son" means "my child who is dmab," which kravitz is not. Kravitz, naturally, decides even if he could get out of being captured by a beast on a technicality, goes anyways because who needs a dad when you have someone who will respect ur gender identity  
> 4\. Taako only cares about having Kravitz there b/c he's like,,, super Hot. dad compromise means nothing 2 his gay heart


End file.
